What is Love ? This is My Husband's Answer

I have been married for 40 years and 9 months.  That is important to know because when I had been married 25 years and 8 months my husband wrote me a letter and told me about his love for me.  Love comes from God – which I am sure you know.  The vow we took on our wedding day was before God.  We knew God had brought us together and now, more than 40 years later, we constantly see God in our lives.  Please enjoy reading this love letter from husband to wife.  I hope my girls see how much their Father and Mother love them.  They are part of the love we had for each other. 

Julie

As I looked back over the last 25 years 8 month I realized that there are some things that I believed from that first time I took you for a ride in my car.

I believed from the time that I dropped you off at home that first night that my plans were being changed by something far greater than me.  In my plans marriage, or even thoughts of it, were at least 5 years into the future.

At that time I was not walking with the God that I had been exposed to and taught about for my entire life, yet that very God prompted me to ask you, after I had known you for only two weeks, to be my wife.  I had barely had enough time to learn your full name and I was preparing to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.  When I was trying to make sense of what I was hearing, it was more than I could ever imagine.  I certainly wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone like me so how could I expect you to do it.  I asked in spite of my doubts because I was told to.

To my surprise, and I imagine to yours also, you said yes, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Another thing that I had always thought to be a lot of hooie was the idea of love at first sight.  God has shown me that there is such a thing.  It is not between a man and a woman where, at best, these may be interest at first sight.  The love between a man and a woman is a process that takes an entire lifetime.  True love at first sight exists only with God because he knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb and loved us enough to sacrifice His Son for us.

The only other time that I am personally aware of love at first sight was when I first caught sight of my girls.  Yes, I know that they are our girls but at that moment they were my girls and the love at that first sight was mine.  You were having your own “love at first sight” experience. 

I just want you to know that this journey has been one that I wouldn’t have missed for anything.  I have a deeper love for you now than I could ever have imagined and I hope and pray that as we go through the next 25 years that as we grow closer to God, we will continue to grow closer in our love and commitment to each other.  You mean more to me than life itself and I love you!

If not for you, I wouldn’t be me.

Thank you!

I ask you, the reader, how could any wife not melt at the words in this letter, even more than 15 years after it was written?

February 3, 1912 - 100 Years Ago My Daddy was Born

Daddy and Me

February 3, 2012 is a bitter-sweet day for me.  For the last year I have watched this date grow closer and closer.  My Father would have been 100 years old on February 3, 2012.  I wish I could say I have tons of wonderful memories but I really only have a few.  The most important memory that my Dad passed on to me is always buy a Ford.  I hope that makes you smile.  I drive a Ford and have for years.  My Mom believed my Dad had it right and she preferred a Ford over any other brand of car. 

My Father had two sisters that I remember. Esther Walker lived in Milford Michigan and I loved to visit her house. They owned Walker and Son’s Honey.  Their company was the first to have a bear with honey in it on the store shelves and they were the first to come out with whipped honey. They raised honey bees and my parents lived over the honeyhouse at one point, but that was before they had me.  They had moved back to Muskegon by the time I was born.  Every year my Aunt Esther would make a wreath of wrapped candy and send it to us along with honey and honeycomb and whipped honey.  I looked forward to the box every year.

One other dear memory was one my Mom talked about many times over her lifetime.  She talked about how we drove to Detroit where Dad’s sister, Henrietta Pepperman, lived.  (I love saying her name).  She had animals and I was allergic.  We tried to make it work but in the middle of the night, when my Dad thought I couldn’t breathe much longer if we stayed, he loaded the family in the car and drove back across the state.  By the time we got home I was doing really well with my breathing.  We never visited her house again. 

I know my Dad had a brother, Richard, but I don’t remember if we ever met.  Both of his parents passed away before my Mom met Dad.  I can’t believe it, but his mother’s name was Allie Boop.  No kidding!  I don’t remember his father’s name.

 I remember my Dad spent much of his time across the street from our house at the gas station.  He loved working on cars.  Other memories are quite vague.  I remember attending the Tulip Festival in Holland, Michigan with my Dad and Mom.  I remember traveling to a wedding from Dad’s side of the family.  It was in Ohio, but I don’t remember the city.  I remember that when one sister, Ranae, was sick, I got to sleep with my Dad.  He always let me put my feet between his legs to warm them up.  I always felt safe and secure with him.  He had blood vessels that bulged in his forearms.  I still can see his arms when I think of him.  I find that very attractive.  When I was working at Calico Cat there was a customer that came in a couple of times a year.  He shocked me every time I saw him because he looked exactly like my Dad when he died.  Exactly.  It was so startling that I couldn’t wait on him.  I would conceal myself so he couldn’t see me watching him.  By then Dad would have been in his late 70s or early 80s.  This man looked like my Dad when he was 49.

August 14, 1938

My very favorite memory was within just months of when he passed away.  I was 11 years old at the time and we had just moved into a new home on Seminole Road in Muskegon.  They purchased the home and we moved in during June of 1961.  He passed away in November 1961 so this took place between these months.

To give a little background, my bedroom was done in knotty pine.  It was a Cape Cod type room with sloped ceilings and storage behind the walls.  The window was one that, when opened, was a flat piece of glass.  The room was small but it was mine.  The only other room upstairs was unfinished but twice the size of my room.  I believe the idea was it would be finished and used as another bedroom.    Since we had just moved there, my friends all lived near our old house.  I was allowed to invite my best friend at that time, Dona Jarvi, to come and spend the night on a Friday night.  On Saturday morning we woke up but didn’t go downstairs very early.  At some point my Dad came up carrying a small basket.  He started picking up the sheets and blankets and looking underneath them.  I asked what he was doing and his reply was “with all of this cackling I thought there must be some fresh eggs laid up here.  I am preparing for breakfast of bacon and eggs.”  We giggled and giggled about my Dad when that happened. That is my very favorite memory.  Even when I think of it 50 years later, I still smile at this thought.  I really would have loved having more years with him.

While I have 11 years of memories, I have lived nearly 51 years without any new memories.  Dad brought home a used television when I was about 10.  It was our first TV.  He wasn’t alive to have color TV, computers, and other new technology.  The new Fords would delight him, I am sure.  He also wasn’t here to meet his son-in-law, Mike.  Remember, he had 5 daughters so a son-in-law would have been a blessing, but Mike loved working on cars so that would have been common ground for them.   My Dad wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle (my fabulous Uncle Milburn did that) and he wasn’t here to meet his granddaughters, Holly and Missy, or his great grandchildren.  I think they would have loved him and he would have adored them.  In one month we will celebrate another special day.  On March 5^th my Dad’s namesake, his grandson, Max, will be three years old.  I wish they could have known each other.   You can’t go back and change your life, but sometimes you can’t help but wish you had more memories that include someone you still love 51 years later.