Monday, May 14, 2012

Our Story, how we met and married 41 years ago today

I first met Michael Paul Jaunese in October of 1970.  I was dating someone else and we had talked about getting married so Mike seemed safe enough to talk to.  Mike had just gotten home from the Navy and was ready to have a little fun; hardly ready to settle down.  We both worked at the Muskegon Chronicle. Mike was a pressman apprentice before the Navy and returned from Japan and the Philippines to the position he had before joining the Navy.  I had begun working in the display advertising department at the newspaper in 1969.  Mike was overseas at the time so we had never met.  I had, however, mailed him letters from his Dad on regular basis since part of my job was to take the office mail to the post office everyday.  Included in that mail were letters from his Dad because his Father was the Production Manager of the newspaper.  I really liked the man who would become my Father-in-Law.  He had a great sense of humor and treaded all of the girls in the advertising department very kindly and with respect.  This made quite and impression on me since I was only 19 when I began working at the newspaper.  I wanted a job at the newspaper so badly that I went at least once a week to check on my application there until they finally gave me a job.
Mike returned from the Navy in the early fall of 1970 and came back to work at the Chronicle.  Part of my job at the paper was to stop at the Greyhound Bus Station every Saturday I worked to pick up advertising from national advertisers.  This would always make me a few minutes later than the rest of the Saturday staff.  I parked my car and headed to the door of the mail room.  There was Mike, leaning on the door with his forehead on the door and his hand on the doorknob.  You can imagine what a first impression this made on me?  I asked Mike if he would like me to open the door for him and he politely said yes.   Upon entering the mail room and seeing his entire face, I knew he needed help.  I asked if I could get him some aspirin.  He was hungover!  “No thanks” was the reply.  This guy looked like death warmed over.  I later found out that this was also how he felt; like death warmed over.  He had been drinking most of the night; exercising his elbow, is how Mike liked to put it.  He had come home just in time go get ready for work.  He sat down on his bed and began putting on fresh socks – that’s when he fell over and went to sleep.  His Dad came in to see why he hadn’t left for work yet and found him sound asleep.  I now understand that falling asleep in strange places wasn’t new to Mike.  He had been doing that since he was a child.  Once as a child living on busy Wood Street in Muskegon he was fell asleep on the curb.  Another time he was found asleep half in and half outside of the screen door when he was suppose to be coming in the house to take a nap.  In any event, his sleeping that morning made him late for work.  As we got to know each other better he confessed how and why he was found at the back door of the paper.  He got to the door and couldn’t remember if he was to push or pull to get in the door so he just stopped and waited for someone to come and open the door for him.  You can easily see how he made a great first impression on me.
Mike had been back at work about a week.  Each day I saw Mike on his break in the lunch room of the paper.  Picture it – Mike had decided, after leaving the Navy, to let his beard and hair grow.  He was quite disheveled.  His most redeeming factor at this point was that Mike had a great car!  I wanted a ride in this car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  He drove a new 1971 Triumph TR6.  This was a superb, magnificent car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  I knew my new goal in life was to get a ride in this car.  From here on I knew my objective and I set my sight on obtaining my prize.  Simply stated - - MY AIM AND GOAL WAS TO GET A RIDE IN MIKE’S CAR.
At this time I was about 5 foot 1 inch and was a tiny size 3.  I had long hair and never wore my glasses if I could get away with it.  They just weren’t the look I was going for, if you know what I mean.  I knew I was pretty enough because I had been in the Miss Muskegon pageant.  I know that sounds corny but there were many who entered the pageant but only 16 were chosen to be in the pageant.  I was one who was accepted so I must have been attractive enough.  One day I decided how I would get a ride in this magnificent automobile.  I wrote a note on a slip of paper and marched right over to him in the lunch room, with all of his department sitting at the same table.  I gave him the note and told him it had my name and address on the paper and I wanted a ride in his car!  I also told him I added my phone number just in case he got lost. PHEEW!  That was over.  Now all I had to do was wait and see if he would show up.  I didn’t stick around the lunch room to see his reaction.  I said just enough and made a quick exit.  Reality swiftly set in.  I had been impetuous and hadn’t thought for a second that my Mom was going to see this disheveled guy and freak out.  I had always prided myself that I didn’t date anyone who got dirty on their job.  Now there was this guy, a newspaper pressman who got filthy on his job and he was coming to my house.  My mind was racing a mile a minute and I decided to tell my Mom the truth.  This was not a date; it was just a ride in his car, nothing more.  Would she buy it?
I got home about 5:30 and took my chances.  I figured it would look less like a date if I didn’t spend time changing and getting “dolled” up.  This was NOT a date. It came time to tell my Mom about him.  I told her I realized I hadn’t brought anyone home before that  who looked scruffy  but all I wanted was a ride in this guys car and that was all!  She seemed OK about it.  (My own Dad worked in a foundry and got very dirty every day.  I don’t know why dirty jobs for men bothered me.)  I couldn’t believe it.  All this worry on my part and she didn’t care that he looked, at the time, like someone that had been “dug up” and I mean that literally.
Seven-thirty came and so did Mike.  We left the house and began our little joy ride.  We talked and talked.  He really was a nice guy under all that hair.  Now this, I realize makes it seem like he HAD lots of hair on his head – untrue!  He was rapidly going bald but what he did have was just scruffy.  Anyway, we drove on back roads and just took a turn when we came to the end of a road.  By the time we realized it we needed to find out how to get home – it was well after 11 p.m. and we were half way across Michigan.  Not bad for a ride, right?  We talked about the Navy and about the Philippines and Japan where Mike had been stationed.  We talked about him growing up in a large family of 4 boys and 4 girls.  We talked about him going to a private Christian school all of his life.  We especially talked about our dreams and aspirations.  I distinctly remember Mike telling me he “was not getting married for 5 years and not having children for 5 years after that.”  I was interested in someone else, the same guy I had liked since my freshman year of high school at age 14.  He and I dated for a while when I was 14 and broke up and he had been the first guy I had fallen for – hard.  We had become reacquainted when he was a senior in college and had been discussing a life together.  After college he took a job in Iowa so we only saw each other on occasional weekends.  I still really was attached to him so seeing Mike was safe, meaning I wasn’t looking to fall in love with a scruffy pressman.  I was happy with my life the way it was.
We arrived at my house about 2:30 a.m.  We said our good-byes and I went straight to bed.  Who would have thought a car ride could change two lives.
The next morning Mike called me before I left for work and thanked me for asking him to on the drive and asked if we could go out for another drive or someplace else sometime.  I figured it was okay as long as it didn’t interfere with my weekend because my other guy was coming home to two days to see me.  That weekend every hour I wasn’t spending with my Iowa friend, I was spending it with Mike.  Iowa was to come say good-bye before he left, so I made him some cupcakes to take back with him.  He hadn’t show up yet when Mike came to pick me up, and I didn’t want to tell Mike there was an Iowa, so I went out with Mike thinking Iowa had gotten a late start and headed back without stopping.  When I returned home that evening my Mom said “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes”.  I thanked her and she said again “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes” I said yes, I understood but she repeated with deliberate words, “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes.  They are gone.”  I understood exactly what she meant.  Iowa had shown up, I was gone, and she gave him the cupcakes to take back to Iowa.  I got it!
From then on you would have thought Mike had no where else to go.  He was at my house every evening and he frequently picked me up for work in the morning.  He even let me DRIVE his car.  Living in a family without males was great because I didn’t have to put up with guy things before this time.  This was a whole new world.  Mike liked Monday night football and I tried to share this with him.  I remember (and so does he if you ask him) about my first game.  My Mom came in part of the way through the game and asked who was playing.  I could only remember the name of the one team – the Pittsburgh Snitchers.  Mike thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.  It was the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Stealing and Snitching all sounded like taking a ball away from the other team, which was exactly what they were doing. 
Mike and I dated for two weeks when he decided to take me to the most wonderful restaurant within several counties.   It was about 40 miles from Muskegon and was right on Lake Michigan.  I had never been there but knew it was heavenly. Unfortunately, I didn’t know he was taking me there.  My Mom and I had gone shopping that day.  I bought my first pant suit that day and I bought my first mini dress.  I was so excited!  Mike had asked me to go out that night but hadn’t told me where we were going.  When I answered the door in my new pant suit, there was Mike standing there in a suit.  I asked where we were going and found out it was Pointe West.  I quickly changed from my new pant suit to my new mini dress.  We were about half way to the restaurant in Holland, Michigan when Mike asked me what I thought about him shaving off his beard.  I hadn’t even noticed.  He had gotten a hair cut and cleaned up.  Under that unkempt person emerged a fantastic guy.  The restaurant was passing out perfume samples but I don’t remember the scent.  I also remember our table was in the back of the restaurant, not at all where I would have liked to sit.  I had always dreamed of going to this restaurant located right on Lake Michigan.  I thought every table was near a window where you could look out on the water.  I was surprised that this was a large, unromantic place.  This goes to show just how I can build things up in my head.  Mike always says I look forward with such anticipation that things rarely end up being as wonderful as I anticipate them in my mind.
As Mike brought me home that night he really kissed me.  I thought I heard him say under his breath that he loved me.  I had to ask him just to be sure – “what did you say?” -  he said he loved me and wanted to marry me.  I was shocked!  My next question was “Why do you want to marry me?”  I will never forget his words “Because God told me to!”  This sounds so magnanimous yet God really didn’t play a huge part in our early marriage.  I know that if he hadn’t said that God had told him to marry me, I might have missed out on all of our wonderful years together. 
We went looking for diamonds soon after that.  When it came to setting our wedding date we decided to get married on my Mother’s birthday.  My parents had been married on my Grandmother’s birthday so we thought that date would be an ideal time.  We have since had our daughter Missy.  She was born on my Grandmother’s birthday, which was also my parent’s anniversary.  Both holiday’s were no longer observed since my Grandma died when I was pregnant for Holly and my Dad died when I was 11 years old.
Our wedding was everything I had ever dreamed about while growing up.  We had 5 bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and a flower girl.  Mike’s sister, Kelly Jo, was the highlight of our wedding as our flower girl.  She was dressed in a dress that looked just like my wedding dress.  She was very beautiful and had long flowing white hair and was 4 years old.  She looked like an angel floating down the aisle.  Then there were the little things she did during the service.  She tried to look up under my veil and she picked up the pennies that the pastor had put on the floor to mark where each person was to stand.  Our ring bearer was also a cutie.  He was only 2 ½ years old and thought this meant he’d have to marry Kelly Jo and he didn’t want to get married.  We almost didn’t get him to go down the aisle.  During the rehearsal he refused to walk down the aisle.  He was also unpredictable as a scene stealer.  He was so small he had to lift each leg to go up the steps to the alter.   Once there he decided to take each petal out of his boutonnière and throw it on the floor – one petal at a time.   The groomsmen had been equipped by his Mother with sticks of gum to keep him quiet and happy.  The sticks were individually wrapped so that meant he needed to find a place for the trash.  You can just imagine the rest.  As I write this it still makes me smile all of these years later.
The groomsmen consisted of Jim Jaunese as his brother’s best man, Jim Burmeister, Jim Madison, David Jaunese and Mike Natte.  Mike Poole and Bill Bryant (the ring bearers Dad) were the ushers.  This meant we had 3 Mike’s 3 Jim’s a David and a Bill in the wedding party (including Mike Jaunese).  The bridesmaids were Beth Houghteling as maid of honor, Debbie and Robin Hanks (cousins), and Ranae my sister.  Rounding out the five was Sandra Hunter.  Sandra had been a friend from first grade that had moved to California when we finished third grade.  We had kept in touch all of those years via mail.  It was also her 21st birthday that day and she had given up spending her birthday with her twin sister just to be in our wedding.  My sisters Jane and Lisa were our junior bridesmaids.
Hard to believe we made it through the wedding.  There were approximately 325 people that attended the wedding.  Our food for all of those people in 1971 was $125. And that included the $25 that went to the church hospitality committee.   We had ham sandwiches, potato and macaroni salads, various other items and my Aunt Margaret’s baked beans. 
Mike decided to work the day of the wedding since we got married on a Friday and the wedding wasn’t until 8 p.m.  I found out that he was a bundle of nerves that day and he was found with his head in the trash vomiting about 2 that afternoon.  I had arrived at the church early and found myself upstairs in the kitchen helping the ladies of the church make sandwiches.  As the time for the wedding grew closer and closer nerves took their toll on me as well.  My new sister’s- in- law came down to the bride’s dressing room and asked me where they should sit.   I told them to sit in the row with the first bow from the back, second bow from the front.  Many years later I was asked why they had to sit in the last row of the church.  Obviously communication was not easy that day with a nervous bride.  I am surprised they are still talking to me. 
We renewed our vows for our 25th Wedding Anniversary.  Are things always perfect?  Not at all.  We continue to work at having a great marriage, even after 41 years.  I can’t imagine my life without Mike.
The wording of our invitation was unique but really turned out to be very true.
I am such a blessed woman.
Mike – I love you!