Our Story, how we met and married 41 years ago today

I first met Michael Paul Jaunese in October of 1970.  I was dating someone else and we had talked about getting married so Mike seemed safe enough to talk to.  Mike had just gotten home from the Navy and was ready to have a little fun; hardly ready to settle down.  We both worked at the Muskegon Chronicle. Mike was a pressman apprentice before the Navy and returned from Japan and the Philippines to the position he had before joining the Navy.  I had begun working in the display advertising department at the newspaper in 1969.  Mike was overseas at the time so we had never met.  I had, however, mailed him letters from his Dad on regular basis since part of my job was to take the office mail to the post office everyday.  Included in that mail were letters from his Dad because his Father was the Production Manager of the newspaper.  I really liked the man who would become my Father-in-Law.  He had a great sense of humor and treaded all of the girls in the advertising department very kindly and with respect.  This made quite and impression on me since I was only 19 when I began working at the newspaper.  I wanted a job at the newspaper so badly that I went at least once a week to check on my application there until they finally gave me a job.

Mike returned from the Navy in the early fall of 1970 and came back to work at the Chronicle.  Part of my job at the paper was to stop at the Greyhound Bus Station every Saturday I worked to pick up advertising from national advertisers.  This would always make me a few minutes later than the rest of the Saturday staff.  I parked my car and headed to the door of the mail room.  There was Mike, leaning on the door with his forehead on the door and his hand on the doorknob.  You can imagine what a first impression this made on me?  I asked Mike if he would like me to open the door for him and he politely said yes.   Upon entering the mail room and seeing his entire face, I knew he needed help.  I asked if I could get him some aspirin.  He was hungover!  “No thanks” was the reply.  This guy looked like death warmed over.  I later found out that this was also how he felt; like death warmed over.  He had been drinking most of the night; exercising his elbow, is how Mike liked to put it.  He had come home just in time go get ready for work.  He sat down on his bed and began putting on fresh socks – that’s when he fell over and went to sleep.  His Dad came in to see why he hadn’t left for work yet and found him sound asleep.  I now understand that falling asleep in strange places wasn’t new to Mike.  He had been doing that since he was a child.  Once as a child living on busy Wood Street in Muskegon he was fell asleep on the curb.  Another time he was found asleep half in and half outside of the screen door when he was suppose to be coming in the house to take a nap.  In any event, his sleeping that morning made him late for work.  As we got to know each other better he confessed how and why he was found at the back door of the paper.  He got to the door and couldn’t remember if he was to push or pull to get in the door so he just stopped and waited for someone to come and open the door for him.  You can easily see how he made a great first impression on me.

Mike had been back at work about a week.  Each day I saw Mike on his break in the lunch room of the paper.  Picture it – Mike had decided, after leaving the Navy, to let his beard and hair grow.  He was quite disheveled.  His most redeeming factor at this point was that Mike had a great car!  I wanted a ride in this car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  He drove a new 1971 Triumph TR6.  This was a superb, magnificent car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  I knew my new goal in life was to get a ride in this car.  From here on I knew my objective and I set my sight on obtaining my prize.  Simply stated - - MY AIM AND GOAL WAS TO GET A RIDE IN MIKE’S CAR.

At this time I was about 5 foot 1 inch and was a tiny size 3.  I had long hair and never wore my glasses if I could get away with it.  They just weren’t the look I was going for, if you know what I mean.  I knew I was pretty enough because I had been in the Miss Muskegon pageant.  I know that sounds corny but there were many who entered the pageant but only 16 were chosen to be in the pageant.  I was one who was accepted so I must have been attractive enough.  One day I decided how I would get a ride in this magnificent automobile.  I wrote a note on a slip of paper and marched right over to him in the lunch room, with all of his department sitting at the same table.  I gave him the note and told him it had my name and address on the paper and I wanted a ride in his car!  I also told him I added my phone number just in case he got lost. PHEEW!  That was over.  Now all I had to do was wait and see if he would show up.  I didn’t stick around the lunch room to see his reaction.  I said just enough and made a quick exit.  Reality swiftly set in.  I had been impetuous and hadn’t thought for a second that my Mom was going to see this disheveled guy and freak out.  I had always prided myself that I didn’t date anyone who got dirty on their job.  Now there was this guy, a newspaper pressman who got filthy on his job and he was coming to my house.  My mind was racing a mile a minute and I decided to tell my Mom the truth.  This was not a date; it was just a ride in his car, nothing more.  Would she buy it?

I got home about 5:30 and took my chances.  I figured it would look less like a date if I didn’t spend time changing and getting “dolled” up.  This was NOT a date. It came time to tell my Mom about him.  I told her I realized I hadn’t brought anyone home before that  who looked scruffy  but all I wanted was a ride in this guys car and that was all!  She seemed OK about it.  (My own Dad worked in a foundry and got very dirty every day.  I don’t know why dirty jobs for men bothered me.)  I couldn’t believe it.  All this worry on my part and she didn’t care that he looked, at the time, like someone that had been “dug up” and I mean that literally.

Seven-thirty came and so did Mike.  We left the house and began our little joy ride.  We talked and talked.  He really was a nice guy under all that hair.  Now this, I realize makes it seem like he HAD lots of hair on his head – untrue!  He was rapidly going bald but what he did have was just scruffy.  Anyway, we drove on back roads and just took a turn when we came to the end of a road.  By the time we realized it we needed to find out how to get home – it was well after 11 p.m. and we were half way across Michigan.  Not bad for a ride, right?  We talked about the Navy and about the Philippines and Japan where Mike had been stationed.  We talked about him growing up in a large family of 4 boys and 4 girls.  We talked about him going to a private Christian school all of his life.  We especially talked about our dreams and aspirations.  I distinctly remember Mike telling me he “was not getting married for 5 years and not having children for 5 years after that.”  I was interested in someone else, the same guy I had liked since my freshman year of high school at age 14.  He and I dated for a while when I was 14 and broke up and he had been the first guy I had fallen for – hard.  We had become reacquainted when he was a senior in college and had been discussing a life together.  After college he took a job in Iowa so we only saw each other on occasional weekends.  I still really was attached to him so seeing Mike was safe, meaning I wasn’t looking to fall in love with a scruffy pressman.  I was happy with my life the way it was.

We arrived at my house about 2:30 a.m.  We said our good-byes and I went straight to bed.  Who would have thought a car ride could change two lives.

The next morning Mike called me before I left for work and thanked me for asking him to on the drive and asked if we could go out for another drive or someplace else sometime.  I figured it was okay as long as it didn’t interfere with my weekend because my other guy was coming home to two days to see me.  That weekend every hour I wasn’t spending with my Iowa friend, I was spending it with Mike.  Iowa was to come say good-bye before he left, so I made him some cupcakes to take back with him.  He hadn’t show up yet when Mike came to pick me up, and I didn’t want to tell Mike there was an Iowa, so I went out with Mike thinking Iowa had gotten a late start and headed back without stopping.  When I returned home that evening my Mom said “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes”.  I thanked her and she said again “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes” I said yes, I understood but she repeated with deliberate words, “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes.  They are gone.”  I understood exactly what she meant.  Iowa had shown up, I was gone, and she gave him the cupcakes to take back to Iowa.  I got it!

From then on you would have thought Mike had no where else to go.  He was at my house every evening and he frequently picked me up for work in the morning.  He even let me DRIVE his car.  Living in a family without males was great because I didn’t have to put up with guy things before this time.  This was a whole new world.  Mike liked Monday night football and I tried to share this with him.  I remember (and so does he if you ask him) about my first game.  My Mom came in part of the way through the game and asked who was playing.  I could only remember the name of the one team – the Pittsburgh Snitchers.  Mike thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.  It was the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Stealing and Snitching all sounded like taking a ball away from the other team, which was exactly what they were doing. 

Mike and I dated for two weeks when he decided to take me to the most wonderful restaurant within several counties.   It was about 40 miles from Muskegon and was right on Lake Michigan.  I had never been there but knew it was heavenly. Unfortunately, I didn’t know he was taking me there.  My Mom and I had gone shopping that day.  I bought my first pant suit that day and I bought my first mini dress.  I was so excited!  Mike had asked me to go out that night but hadn’t told me where we were going.  When I answered the door in my new pant suit, there was Mike standing there in a suit.  I asked where we were going and found out it was Pointe West.  I quickly changed from my new pant suit to my new mini dress.  We were about half way to the restaurant in Holland, Michigan when Mike asked me what I thought about him shaving off his beard.  I hadn’t even noticed.  He had gotten a hair cut and cleaned up.  Under that unkempt person emerged a fantastic guy.  The restaurant was passing out perfume samples but I don’t remember the scent.  I also remember our table was in the back of the restaurant, not at all where I would have liked to sit.  I had always dreamed of going to this restaurant located right on Lake Michigan.  I thought every table was near a window where you could look out on the water.  I was surprised that this was a large, unromantic place.  This goes to show just how I can build things up in my head.  Mike always says I look forward with such anticipation that things rarely end up being as wonderful as I anticipate them in my mind.

As Mike brought me home that night he really kissed me.  I thought I heard him say under his breath that he loved me.  I had to ask him just to be sure – “what did you say?” -  he said he loved me and wanted to marry me.  I was shocked!  My next question was “Why do you want to marry me?”  I will never forget his words “Because God told me to!”  This sounds so magnanimous yet God really didn’t play a huge part in our early marriage.  I know that if he hadn’t said that God had told him to marry me, I might have missed out on all of our wonderful years together. 

We went looking for diamonds soon after that.  When it came to setting our wedding date we decided to get married on my Mother’s birthday.  My parents had been married on my Grandmother’s birthday so we thought that date would be an ideal time.  We have since had our daughter Missy.  She was born on my Grandmother’s birthday, which was also my parent’s anniversary.  Both holiday’s were no longer observed since my Grandma died when I was pregnant for Holly and my Dad died when I was 11 years old.

Our wedding was everything I had ever dreamed about while growing up.  We had 5 bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and a flower girl.  Mike’s sister, Kelly Jo, was the highlight of our wedding as our flower girl.  She was dressed in a dress that looked just like my wedding dress.  She was very beautiful and had long flowing white hair and was 4 years old.  She looked like an angel floating down the aisle.  Then there were the little things she did during the service.  She tried to look up under my veil and she picked up the pennies that the pastor had put on the floor to mark where each person was to stand.  Our ring bearer was also a cutie.  He was only 2 ½ years old and thought this meant he’d have to marry Kelly Jo and he didn’t want to get married.  We almost didn’t get him to go down the aisle.  During the rehearsal he refused to walk down the aisle.  He was also unpredictable as a scene stealer.  He was so small he had to lift each leg to go up the steps to the alter.   Once there he decided to take each petal out of his boutonnière and throw it on the floor – one petal at a time.   The groomsmen had been equipped by his Mother with sticks of gum to keep him quiet and happy.  The sticks were individually wrapped so that meant he needed to find a place for the trash.  You can just imagine the rest.  As I write this it still makes me smile all of these years later.

The groomsmen consisted of Jim Jaunese as his brother’s best man, Jim Burmeister, Jim Madison, David Jaunese and Mike Natte.  Mike Poole and Bill Bryant (the ring bearers Dad) were the ushers.  This meant we had 3 Mike’s 3 Jim’s a David and a Bill in the wedding party (including Mike Jaunese).  The bridesmaids were Beth Houghteling as maid of honor, Debbie and Robin Hanks (cousins), and Ranae my sister.  Rounding out the five was Sandra Hunter.  Sandra had been a friend from first grade that had moved to California when we finished third grade.  We had kept in touch all of those years via mail.  It was also her 21^st birthday that day and she had given up spending her birthday with her twin sister just to be in our wedding.  My sisters Jane and Lisa were our junior bridesmaids.

Hard to believe we made it through the wedding.  There were approximately 325 people that attended the wedding.  Our food for all of those people in 1971 was $125. And that included the $25 that went to the church hospitality committee.   We had ham sandwiches, potato and macaroni salads, various other items and my Aunt Margaret’s baked beans. 

Mike decided to work the day of the wedding since we got married on a Friday and the wedding wasn’t until 8 p.m.  I found out that he was a bundle of nerves that day and he was found with his head in the trash vomiting about 2 that afternoon.  I had arrived at the church early and found myself upstairs in the kitchen helping the ladies of the church make sandwiches.  As the time for the wedding grew closer and closer nerves took their toll on me as well.  My new sister’s- in- law came down to the bride’s dressing room and asked me where they should sit.   I told them to sit in the row with the first bow from the back, second bow from the front.  Many years later I was asked why they had to sit in the last row of the church.  Obviously communication was not easy that day with a nervous bride.  I am surprised they are still talking to me. 

We renewed our vows for our 25^th Wedding Anniversary.  Are things always perfect?  Not at all.  We continue to work at having a great marriage, even after 41 years.  I can’t imagine my life without Mike.

The wording of our invitation was unique but really turned out to be very true.

I am such a blessed woman.

Mike – I love you!

Honeymoon - Nearly 41 Years Ago

In just a few days Mike and I will celebrate the 41^st anniversary of the date we said “I DO”.  It seems like it was yesterday when we got married.  I imagine you are wondering how it can feel like yesterday when we have had children and grandchildren.  My minds-eye feels like it was yesterday. Anyway, because we are a few days away from our anniversary, I began thinking about our honeymoon.  If you know me, you know I am a planner. I love a vacation and I like to pack as much into it as I can.  Relaxing is not on my schedule.  I haven’t changed over the years and one of my daughters, I am not saying which one, thinks my expectations are too high.  Well, a honeymoon should have lots of things planned.  I planned and then God laughed and said “not so fast”

We were married on May 14, 1971, a Friday evening.  It was a beautiful day.  Warm, sunny, fabulous.  My childhood friend Sandra had flown out from California to be one of my 5 bridesmaids.  My best friend, Beth, was my maid of honor.  It was a fabulous day – at least it should have been.  I got to the church so early that I went upstairs to the kitchen and helped make sandwiches for the reception.  I found out that Mike had tried to work that day but mid-day someone found him losing his lunch so they sent him home.  There were several other things that happened as well but a girl has to save something only she and her husband know about.  All of this and we hadn’t even gotten to the ceremony yet.

Mike decided that driving his little Triumph TR6 was not a good idea.  He was concerned one of his friends might have a way of following him to our “special” location for the night so he exchanged his car with my Grandpa’s car and drove that car to the wedding.  When the reception ended we took Grandpa’s old car back to exchange it for our car.  We found 3 flat tires on our car.  Now at this time of the night, and on your wedding night, you really are NOT worried about flat tires.  We decided to take Grandpa’s car to the hotel and begin our honeymoon and tackle the tires on Saturday.  We had a beautiful suite at a brand new hotel.  Mike had reserved the honeymoon suite but it wasn’t ready yet so we stayed in the Master suite.  It had 3 beautiful rooms and a large bathtub. 

On Saturday I had planned we would leave first thing in the morning.  Three flat tires prevented that from happening.  We left at 2 in the afternoon.  My plan was we were having dinner at Niagra Falls.  That didn’t happen.  Mike had the tires fixed and we headed east out of Muskegon.  We stopped at a great place in East Lansing called “Best Steak House”  I had been there many times and really liked it.  While we were in the restaurant having a late, very late, lunch one of our tires decided to go flat for the second time.  It turned out that the person who flattened our tires (GREG) added a special treat.  He unscrewed the valve stem so the tire wouldn’t hold air.  Now we were even further behind.  We finally make it into Canada and we headed toward our destination.  Now anyone else would have stopped at one of the hotels along the way but not me, we were headed to Niagra Falls and I was determined to spend the night in Niagra Falls.  We made it there at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning.  We checked into the Sheraton Foxhead and it was right at the falls.  As we checked in the lady at registration said there were two rooms left to choose from.  Mike said he would park the car and I could choose the room.  I think he regrets it to this day.  One room had a queen size bed and faced the alley.  The other room was not really a sleeping room but more of a meeting room.  It had a pull out sofa and faced the falls.  I had planned on us having a view of the falls and so of course I chose the room that didn’t have a bed for night two of our honeymoon.  We slept until about 10 o’clock Sunday morning and then had breakfast, looked at the falls, went to the “House of Wax” and headed to our next destination – Boston.  I had never been there before so I was excited and couldn’t wait to get there.  Boston was a long way from Niagra Falls but I knew we could make it before we went to bed that night.  Mike drew the line in the sand and said we would not be driving to Boston, he wanted a honeymoon and we would be stopping for the night and complete the drive to Boston on Monday.  We stopped in Utica NY at a Holiday Inn.  They gave us a beautiful room facing the alley (God, you are so funny).  We discovered a dirty pair of someone else’s socks under our bed the next morning.  We got ready to go to dinner and had to pass the pool to get to the restaurant.  The pool smelled so bad and was filthy since it was May and the pool wasn’t ready for use.  So now we are on to Tuesday morning and we took a leisurely drive to Boston.  My Aunt Connie and Uncle Bill had invited us to stay with them.  We had taken our entire Grooms cake with us in the Triumph TR6 to Boston so we could share it with them since they couldn’t join us at the wedding.  They had a beautiful home not far off the interstate in Dedham.  It had a wonderful enclosed side porch.  Aunt Connie gave us a choice of staying on the porch or staying in their room.  Mike said the porch would be wonderful.  I about froze to death.  We decided perhaps switching rooms the next night was the best idea.  Remember, it was our honeymoon. We spent our day in Boston doing some sightseeing and visiting my cousin Sharon and her children Janet, Paul and Kurt.  It was a great day.  We had a wonderful dinner with my Aunt and Uncle that evening.  Now it was time to go to bed again.  We retreated to my Aunt and Uncle’s room and found they had an old iron bed.  The kind that makes a noise if you make a move.  I am sure you get the picture.  Again, God you are sooo funny.  We left the next morning for New York City, another place I had only dreamed of seeing.  As we approached New York we found out one interesting fact that made it impossible to visit the city.  New York City was 3 weeks into a garbage strike and you could smell the city from a long way off.  This caused us to move on toward Pennsylvania.  We had planned to visit my Great-Aunt Madge at the nursing home where she lived in Quarryville, Pennsylvania.  This was close to Lancaster PA, Amish country so we headed to Lancaster.  I must say the three days in Lancaster were the best of the honeymoon.  Does that sound like it was pure joy?  Nope, we had one laugh after another.

We decided to drive out to see Madge so we could check out the countryside.  We saw a fabulous Amish restaurant we wanted to take my Aunt to for dinner.  Here is the problem with that plan – we had a two seater Triumph TR6 and we would need to transport three people to dinner.  She was in a nursing home and she didn’t have a car.  Mike dropped me off at the restaurant and then drove to pick up Madge and then joined me for dinner.  Of course that meant that after dinner it was the same thing in reverse.  It still was a wonderful night.  The next day we went to see the Amish sights and had a wonderful dinner together.  It was our first day together outside of a car since the wedding.  We got back to our hotel late that evening and were watching the 11:00 news from our bed.  They announced that there was a little girl in Philadelphia that needed a special type of blood.  Mike had the special type of blood so we got dressed and went to the local hospital, as instructed on the news, to give lifesaving blood to this little girl.  They told us we would need to drive into Philadelphia.  We stopped at a police station to get directions and started on our way to Philly.  We arrived at the hospital just after 2:00 a.m.  They stopped taking blood at midnight and apologized to us and thanked Mike but we now had to drive back to Lancaster.  It was well after 5 a.m. when we got back to our hotel. 

The next day we checked out of our hotel and drove out to say good-bye to Aunt Madge.  She was so excited to have someone visit her.  She left us for a minute to go get her bird book to show us information on the various birds she kept watch for.  When she came back she had the bird book and a box she wanted us to take back to Michigan.  The box contained something like 5000 postcards of the Sea of Galilee taken from one of her pictures during her visit to Israel decades before our visit to her in 1971.  When Mike said yes she disappeared again and came back with two more boxes.  One was a box filled with all of her slides and the other her slide projector.   She wanted them to go back to my Grandparents home.  Aunt Madge didn’t want anyone to use these items so she took the bulb out of the projector just to preserve it from use.  She then said she would be right back and returned with a movie screen.  Really?  A movie screen in a Triumph TR-6?  There was no way to make that happen.

I hope you enjoyed reading a little bit about one of the worst honeymoons of all time.  As you can tell, a bad honeymoon does not lead to a bad marriage – May 14 will be our 41^st anniversary. 

FAMILY REUNION - HANKS/GARVEY

I came from a really large family.  My mother had 3 sisters and 7 brothers.  When the boys began having children of their own, they produced large families.  My Grandfather, John Hanks, married my Grandmother, Flossie Garvey.  That meant I had plenty of Aunts and Uncles but even more cousins.  At one point I think there were 52 of us first cousins.  Through the years I have lost track of some of my cousins, which is disheartening.  I use to love to watch my Mom put her hands up and use her fingers to tell the birth order of her brothers and sisters.  It was something she could do until her last days on earth. 

Every year there is a fantastic family reunion that is called the Hanks/Garvey Reunion.  While my Mom’s family was large, there was an added bonus to our family.  My Grandfather’s sister, Margaret, married my Grandmother’s brother, Earl.  They also had several children who grew up and had several children.  I wish I could remember the count of that part of the family.  Their children were what we all called “Double Cousins”.  That was how the reunion began.  The reunion began in 1928.  When I was a child I looked forward to reunion day every year. Who could forget the endless tables of food, the games of horseshoes played by the Uncles, the trips into the lake, the excitement of the day?  My sister, Lisa, was only two and a half weeks old when she attended her first reunion.  One of my Mom’s brothers, Bill (John), lived in Boston and he would even bring his two girls, Sharon and Jill.  Aunt Madge, another sister of my Grandfather, was a retired missionary living in Pennsylvania and she NEVER missed a reunion.

Since I moved to Florida, I have only been to the reunion 7 or 8 times in 30 years.  About 10 years ago I went to the reunion with my mother.  It was held at a park on Mona Lake in Muskegon, Michigan – the same lake the reunion was held at in 1928.  While there use to be hundreds (at least it felt that way when I was a child) at the reunion, there were only about 40-45 people.  In 2009 my entire family returned to Muskegon for the reunion.  My Mom passed away in December 2008 and her brother Bill (John) passed away on Easter 2009. Bill’s daughter Sharon passed away the week of the reunion in 2008 so none of us went in 2008. My husband, our daughters and our grandchildren along with Jane, Ron and Lisa went that year.  My niece, D’Ann, joined us along with my sister Ranae.   I took CDs of the entire lot of family photo’s my Mom had saved throughout her 91 years.   I scanned them and made them available to all of the family.  There were about 30-35 people in addition to our part of the family that came that year.  Last year I returned to the reunion in Muskegon.  My cousin, Robin, plus her husband, son and daughter-in-law were there from Florida. I flew in on Friday and out on Monday.  It was worth it but very few people attend anymore.  At the reunion last year I found out one of my cousins lives about an hour south of my Tampa home.  We visited on the phone after I returned to Tampa and we met for the first time since we were teenagers.  The reunion is really worth our time.  My cousin, Penny, has given so many of us information about our roots.  Penny has traced our family on the Hanks side all of the way back and beyond Abraham Lincoln.  Yes, we are related to Abraham Lincoln through his Mother. 

Uncles Harold and Laurence - July 2011

My cousin, Jo Ellen, works so hard to make a great day for everyone.  She sends out invitations to families month’s ahead so everyone can put it on their calendar for the last Sunday in July.  Still, the numbers dwindle.  Out of 11 children my Grandparents had, there are only 2 living.  It is so sad.  There is only one aunt still alive, my Aunt Joan.  She was married to Mom’s youngest brother, Milburn.  That is on the Hanks side.  I didn’t see anyone from the Garvey side.  I know there are still family members on that side but they must not have been able to attend.

My family won’t be able to attend the reunion this year because we are increasing our family.  We have a granddaughter due at the same time of the reunion.  I will miss it this year.  My husband, Mike and our grandson, Holden, have been the last 3 or 4 years in a row.  We all would love to be there.  When we went to the reunion in 2009 we rented a house in Muskegon for a week.  Our family has said it is the best vacation ever.  They loved seeing Lake Michigan.  They enjoyed seeing all of the homes their parents had lived in while growing up and the schools we attended.  We were only 4 houses away from the school Holly and Missy went to before they moved to Florida.  Even they had memories of Muskegon. 

If you are part of my family as a cousin or a double cousin, please consider taking the last Sunday of July and returning to your roots.  There are several others who would like to get reacquainted and you will be welcomed with open arms.  Remember to bring a dish to pass and your own table service.  Every year there is an auction of white elephant items.  I think that is Holden’s favorite part of the reunion.  He loves to bid on items.

Look for us to be back in 2013 for the family reunion.  If you need more information, please post a comment below and I will answer you. 

Teach your children well......

My first job.
Yes, that is me in the Easter Bunny suit.

I have been amazed in the last couple of weeks at all of the things the GOVERNMENT has to say about raising our children.  First, Newt says we should allow our 13 year old children to be janitors in our schools and pay them for their work.  I can say Newt is not my favorite person but I totally agree that it never hurts to teach your child the value of work at an early age.  Before anyone writes me to say it is breaking child labor laws, let me say perhaps you should be looking at the “seasoned” people in your family and ask them about their first job and how it benefited them.  I began working on a special work permit when I was 14 as the Easter Bunny in a department store in my town.  I was the bunny for 2 years - 1964 and 1965.  Since my father died when I was 11 years old, I considered this job a means to purchase some items I would like to have, which helped our family budget.  My Mom had 4 daughters at home and Social Security benefits from my father’s passing was the same amount for 2 children as for 4 children.  Can you imagine the government feeling you could raise 4 for the price of 2?  We didn’t get Medicaid or Aid to Dependent Children.  We didn’t even receive Food Stamps.  She only got Social Security.  It’s the truth.  So having that information, I knew I could help myself and my Mother.  Having that special work permit also allowed me to work during the summer and holidays plus weekends.  Had I earned money before?  You bet.   At that time there wasn’t a kid who hadn’t been taken to the blueberry patch in the summer to pick blueberries for money.  Fast forward to 2012 and how many Americans would take their children to the blueberry patch to pick blueberries for money to buy their own school clothes? 

My husband was from a family of 8 kids and he not only pick blueberries for money but also deliver newspapers door to door – every day – 7 days a week – 365 days a year!  We both lived in Muskegon, Michigan – the snow capital of Michigan.  Then to make things worse, he had to go back to every home he delivered a paper to and collect money for their subscription.  Imagine that! 

Neither Mike nor I feel we were abused.  We feel fortunate that we had a way to earn our own money as young people. It gave us the feeling of accomplishment when we received our money.  It taught us how to tithe, how to manage our money.  We had to learn to decide if one item we wanted to purchase was more important than another. We learned we couldn’t spend more than we had in our pocket.  My Mom always said you can’t spend money more than one time!  Stop and think about that statement.  WE DIDN’T USE CREDIT CARDS!!  We saved for our first cars because – shock of shocks as I say this – parents did not give their children cars, we had to buy them ourselves.  Cars were not an automatic present when you turned 16.  We drove our parent’s cars, which made us very aware we needed to drive conscientiously because none of us wanted to have the dreaded talk to tell the parents we wrecked their car.  At that time families had only one car so if you had an accident, you took the FAMILY car out of commission.  It was not a constitutional right to own a car, or a cell phone either, for that matter.  My daughter, Holly, and I were talking as I was preparing to write this article.  She reminded me that she wanted KEDS sneakers.  The white ones, the actual KEDS with the blue tag on the back, not the knock offs for $5.00 a pair.  We told her that if she wanted KEDS she would need to earn the money and purchase them herself.  She bought several pair over the next few years.  She took such good care of them, kept them white as long as she could and then washed them and made them white again.  When you invest your own money in something, you take care of it better than if you are given something just because you want it.

Grandma and Greg

When I was going through my Mothers things after she passed away, I found a newspaper article in her Bible.  It was written about her grandson, Greg.  The article was written when Greg was about 16 years old.  He had started his small business at a much earlier age with one lawnmower.  He cut grass in the warm weather and shoveled snow in the winter.  He had grown his business by the time he was 16 to having employees, scheduling appointments and was paying taxes.  He is amazing today in everything he does,   He has drive – he has focus – he likes having a paycheck.  It was instilled in him as a young man.  His Grandmother was so proud of him.  When he was about 12 years old Grandma had a small accident with her car.  Greg was certain he could bump out the dent and repair the damage.  At 12 years old he had confidence because someone was willing to let him try.  He did a great job, by the way.  It wasn’t perfect but it was done well.  As parents and grandparents we need to start listening to God instead of a psychologist who thinks we should not have expectations of our children.  Expectation develops drive and focus.  Yes, I know you can go overboard but I believe that we can, with God’s help, bring out the best in our kids.

When you think about what I have written, you have to ask yourself, where did we go wrong?  Can we make a change back to a simpler time when we only spent what we made?  Sure we can.  Currently 40% of Americans live above what they earn. There are programs like Financial Peace University that teach you how to live within your means.  It isn’t easy if you are already upside down but it can be fixed honorably.  You can also begin to teach your child the value of money.  Mom was right.  You can only spend money – whether a penny, a dollar or a hundred dollar bill – one time!  Money doesn't grow on trees, either, much to my dismay.  In 1 Kings chapter 1 it talks about Adonija, son of King David, and says in verse 6 that his father never asked why he behaved the way he did.  He was an arrogant young man who thought he should be King.  Today our kids think everything should be handed them on a silver platter.  David didn’t teach him the value of anything.  When we understand what it takes to work for something, we appreciate it far more.  Give some consideration to teaching your child or grandchild, niece, or nephew the value of working at an early age.

My Lunch with Ronald Reagan

I have a friend who has encouraged me to write.  I must say, when this topic was chosen, having lunch with someone in history, it was a little disconcerting for me.  I had no idea how I would accomplish it.  I went through several people, including my grandparents, before I decided on my person to interview.  I looked at it as a time to really learn about a man I have long admired but really didn’t know much about.  I only knew he was a great president who came in and helped bring the country out of a modern day depression.

I felt in order to really do justice to the man, I needed to study about him.  I bought the book “God and Ronald Reagan, a Spiritual Life” by Paul Kengor and a new book that was released last year called “Ronald Reagan The Notes”  I didn’t use anything from “The Notes” in this article but wanted to give you a brief description of how the book came about.  Last year the Ronald Reagan Library was undergoing renovations.  They really wanted to have some NEW things to put on display and sent people to go through the hundreds of boxes of Reagan information.  In the basement of the library a box was found that said RR Desk. They found a wooden box of 4x6 cards with quotes and jokes written on them.  From a very early age, Ronald Reagan began keeping 4 x 6 cards in his pocket.  When he would hear a joke or a quote he would write it down on a card, including the person’s name who said it.  Many of the cards contents are in this book, but not all of them.  I understand that if he used a joke from the card, or a quote, and it bombed, he threw it away, never to repeat that bomb.

I loved doing this piece.  It gave me a great education and was truly fun putting it together.  Remember, Ronald Reagan is dead so he couldn’t give these answers.  The bolded writing are actual quotes by Ronald Reagan from books or from the internet, I then posed the questions that fit the quote.  I make no apologies that he agreed with me in everything.  These are really personal questions and answers which are my beliefs expressed in a unique way.  I hope you enjoy reading it.  Before you write and ask - yes, I did make Nancy Reagan's Macaroni and Cheese for my family when my girls were young.  They still love it today.

Julie

My Lunch with Ronald Reagan

JJ -“Mr. President, I am really thrilled that you accepted my invitation to lunch at the Columbia Restaurant in St Petersburg on the Pier.  Not only is the Spanish food excellent but the view is fabulous.  I highly recommend the Mahi Mahi, a favorite of mine. Although Macaroni and Cheese isn’t served here, one of my family favorites is Nancy Reagan’s recipe that was published when you were Governor of California.  That was years ago but we served it all the time at our dinner table while our girls were growing up.  We must have some favorite foods in common.”

RR - “How wonderful of you to remember that I too love Nancy’s Macaroni and Cheese.  I have always said that all great change in America begins at the dinner table.”

Actual view from
Columbia Restaurant,
St Petersburg Pier

JJ – “Mr. President, you and I agree on so many things.  I think that at the time you were in office my biggest concern as a Mother to small children was abortion.  I believe it is a woman’s right to choose – by that I mean it is a woman’s right to choose to have sex or not, after that, we are dealing with consequences of your actions.  It is too easy to wipe away the consequences.  We are now reaping the consequences of it being so common place in society.  In any event, there are thousands of children dying in our country because we no longer value life. A song by Annie Herring says it so well – "My God, they’re killing thousands, killing thousands without blinking and eye – believing a lie.”

RR – “I agree.  Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.  Once the Supreme Court decided to rewrite the constitution, we ourselves, as a nation, became the consequences of this ruling.  My desire would be to go back to valuing life. 

Terrorism is at the forefront of people’s mind now and we just celebrated the 10^th anniversary of 9/11 so for a few months people will remember the devastation brought upon us by outsiders who hate America.  Abortion, however, is brought about by American’s killing American’s, many times every day, and our nation sits back and closes its eyes.  Their view is the Supreme Court said it is okay so why should I feel guilty.  There are many men and women who have taken this view; aborted a baby; and are now living with the consequences of their actions.  A very wonderful woman, Pat Layton, has begun a ministry to those who have this secret that they need to surrender.  They need to tell someone so they can gain their freedom back. Pat Layton is actually from Tampa.”

JJ – “I remember when my husband and I were researching sex education in the schools in Michigan in the mid 70s.  There was a school system in Iowa that was selling to schools a K-12 curriculum for sex education saying it lowered the teen pregnancy rate.  When I called the health department in their city I found that since the program had been instituted, the teen pregnancy had actually sky rocketed. Our school system gave our group a copy of all of the textbooks they were going to use in grades K-12.  Mike and I read the one we were given to review and we had no problem with the book.  Our friends had been given the teachers text for the same book.  One of the questions in this first grade text book asked “How many sperm enter Mother’s body during intercourse?”  Planned Parenthood was proposing this program and yet, even at this early date, they were calling abortion Retroactive Birth Control.  Here we are about 35 years later and we wonder why teens are having sex and aborting babies.  They are babies themselves.  We are trying to teach adult behaviors to children who don’t have any understanding of right from wrong at this age.  They are desensitizing our children. These are facts and based on my experience.”

RR – “Don’t be afraid to see what you see.  Facts are stupid things.”

JJ – “To me, it just seems that people have changed values when it comes to home, children, family, love, commitment, even ethics.  I could go on but it is difficult to even put into words what I see happening in the world today.”

RR – “I know in my heart that man is good.  That what is right will always eventually triumph.  And there’s purpose and worth to each and every life.”

JJ – “I agree.  I just don’t always see it.  I was raised by a Mother who believed in being truthful at all cost.  She was the most ethical person I have ever known.  She told me to always take responsibility for my actions.  It is what I have tried to do all of my life.  I believe people need to think about the other person rather than themselves.  After all, it isn’t all about ME.  It should always be about what I can do for someone else.  With things the way they are today, I feel like people are out to eat others alive just to put themselves at the top of the heap. ”

RR – “I understand.  To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last – but eat you he will.  We are in an age where people don’t value intelligence or learning.  We “dumb down” everything and eliminate teaching kids that competition is okay.  Schools don’t even have valedictorian’s any more.  They were eliminated to allow everyone to feel special.  I believe there are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.

I was also raised by a Mother, Nelle, who led me to love God.  She held prayer meetings and healing services in our home. When I was 10 or 11 years old my Mother gave me Harold Bell Wright’s book “That Printer of Udells” and I read it cover to cover. When I completed the book I went to my Mother and asked to be baptized.  My Mother spoke all over the state and our town in Kentucky.  If it hadn’t been the day and age it was, I am sure my Mother would have been an ordained minister. 

Nelle welcomed hitchhikers on long drives and ministered to prisoners in the jail in our town.  Some of those men were released from jail with no where to go so Mom would welcome them into our home.  Color of skin was never an issue in our home.  Prisoners weren’t the only ones Mom welcomed into our house.  Once we had a visiting basketball team and two of the players, both black, had no place to stay in town.  I brought them home to spend the night and have breakfast.  The two visitors stood hesitantly at the door, fearing what would happen when Mom opened the door; worried that Mom would change her mind when she saw their skin color.  When Mom saw the three of us at the door, she simply said “Come on in boys.”

JJ – “How can people today deny God when there is so much of prophecy being fulfilled in our present day?”

RR – “People today try to “reason” Christianity; looking for the things they can dispute but science really supports Jesus coming to earth.  Professor Peter Stoner authored a book called Science Speaks. The book was first published in 1958 and republished in 1976.  Dr. Stoner was chairman of the mathematics and astronomy departments at Pasadena City College until 1953 when he moved to Westmont College in Santa Barbara, California.  There he served as chairman of the science division.  At the time he wrote this book he was professor emeritus of science at Westmont.  The forward in the book was written by Dr. Harold Hartzler, an officer of the American Scientific Affiliation.  He wrote that the manuscript had been carefully reviewed by a committee of his organization and that “The mathematical analysis included is based upon principles of probability which are thoroughly sound.“  The book is written in three sections.  The first section gives several scriptures that prove things found in science centuries later.  For example, the shape of the earth is mentioned in Isaiah 40:22.  Gravity can be found in Job 26:7.  Ecclesiastes 1:8 mentions atmospheric circulation.  A reference to ocean currents can be found in Psalm 9:9, and the hydraulic cycle is described in Ecclesiastes 1:7 and Isaiah 55:10.  The second law of thermodynamics is outlined in Psalm 102: 25-27 and Romans 8:21.  And that is only a few examples of scientific truths written in Scriptures long before they were discovered by scientists.”

Professor Stoner also tells that the probability of just 8 prophecy’s concerning the birth of Jesus coming true in one person are 1x10²⁸.  Dividing this number by an estimate of the number of people who have lived since the time of these prophecies (88 billion when Stoner wrote about it) produces a probability of all 8 prophecies being fulfilled accidently in the life of one person.  That probability is 1 in 10¹⁷ or 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000.  That is one in one hundred quadrillion!  Stoner illustrated the meaning of this number.  He asked the reader to imagine filling the State of Texas knee deep in silver dollars.  Include in this huge number one silver dollars with a black check mark on it.  Then turn a blindfolded person loose in this sea of silver dollars.  The odds that the first coin he would pick up would be the one with the check mark are the same as 8 prophecies being fulfilled accidently in the life of Jesus.  Keep in mind Jesus didn’t fulfill just 8, he fulfilled 108.  The chance of fulfilling 48 prophecy’s in one person is is 1 in 10¹⁵⁷  Can you count that high?

When I gave the inaugural address when I became Governor of California I used the words of Benjamin Franklin “He who introduces into public office the principles of primitive Christianity will change the face of the world.”  In my second inauguration as President I declared that God is calling upon Americans to pass that dream of human freedom to a waiting and hopeful world.”  

JJ – “That is an amazing answer.  I can’t understand how people can decide they don’t need God in their life. They ignore prayer, or don’t feel the need for prayer.   Of course, prophecy tells us we are in the end times, and people are going to turn their back on God. Even some people who know God, can’t find time to give him an hour a week, willingly, much less study the Bible on their own. People don’t realize that the Bible is comprised of 66 Books written over a period of about 1,500 years by over 40 authors from all walks of life, with different kinds of personalities, and in all sorts of situations. It was written in three languages on three continents, and it covers hundreds of controversial subjects. Yet, it fits together into one cohesive story with an appropriate beginning, a logical ending, a central character, and a consistent theme.”

“Let’s go on to another topic.  I can’t help but ask.  You were a great football player who went on to become an equally great actor.  You had some pivotal roles.  Why did you leave acting to seek politics?  Did you have your eye on the White House from the beginning?  You weren’t a spring chicken when you entered politics and even older when you ran for president.” 

RR – “Thomas Jefferson once said ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works and ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”

JJ – “Seriously.  Why politics?”

RR – “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. I really care about people that are why I went into politics.  I am not arrogant and think I know everything, which is why I surround myself with people smarter than I am.  I had people that knew government, economy, freedom, military.  No one person can be the government.  It takes the people to make the government.  We are the people.  Politics is not a bad profession.  If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”

JJ – “Let’s talk a little about the economy.  The United States is really struggling.   Individuals are struggling.  Businesses are struggling.  My friend and her husband own a glass company.  They are struggling.  They do perfect work, so perfect that they work on showers for large yachts but the yacht builders are struggling because they can’t sell high prices yachts, which means those that supply their needs are also struggling.  What words of wisdom do you have for them?”

RR – “Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States.”

JJ – “I understand this concept but our current government is regulating everything from light bulbs to toilets to how old the car you drive should be, what you eat and what you feed your children.  They are attempting to take everything away from the individual parent and regulate parenting.  Hilary Clinton actually began this thought process when she wrote “It takes a Village.”  It only takes a village if you don’t want to really be a parent.”

RR – “I don’t believe in a government that protects us from ourselves”

JJ – “All of the regulations are cumbersome to business.”

RR – “The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:  If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

JJ – “I have heard that said before.”

RR – “Remember, the best minds are not in government.  If any were, business would hire them away.”

JJ – “Again, I agree.  Yet government says they know how to help us better than we know how to help ourselves.

RR.  - “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

JJ – “9/11 plunged us into a war.  We didn’t declare war, the group that crashed planes into three buildings and one field in Pennsylvania declared war on us.”

RR – “History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.  Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.  It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have.”

JJ – “You can’t make someone WANT freedom.  You can show it to them but you can’t make them desire it or even see it as obtainable for them.”

RR – “We live as examples to others of what a free country can do for them.  Our lives show them everything.  Coercion, after all, merely captures man.  Freedom captivates him”.

JJ – “As I said before, it feels like we are giving up so many of our own freedoms today.”

RR – “As I said earlier, freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.  We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream.  It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States when men were free.”

JJ – “If asked, how would you describe freedom?”

RR – “Freedom is one of the deepest and noblest aspirations of the human spirit.  No arsenal…is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.”

JJ – “What can we do?”

RR – “The ultimate determinant in the struggle now going on for the world will not be bombs and rockets but a test of wills and ideas – a trial of spiritual resolve: the values we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideals to which we are dedicated.”

JJ – “People are rising up today.  The TEA Party is trying to protect the economy and our freedoms.  They are asking the government to live within the money they are taking in, not more than they receive.  You would think this would resonate with the entire country since we all must live within our means. That, however, isn’t the case.  People like the government giving them something for nothing.  While I have never been to a meeting of the TEA Party, I really believe they have the best interest of the country at heart – for all Americans – without regard to race, creed or religion.”

RR – You and I have a rendezvous with destiny.  We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness.  If we fail, at least let our children and our children’s children say of us we are justified our brief moment here.  We did all that could be done.  If you’re afraid of the future, then get out of the way, stand aside.  The people of this country are ready to move again.

JJ – Have you ever said anything you really didn’t mean to say?

RR – Once, during a microphone test, I said ‘My fellow American’s, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever.  The bombing begins in five minutes.’  Some people do not have a sense of humor.

JJ – My husband suggested I write about lunch with you.  This has been a great time and I really look forward to telling him about my visit with you.  Do you have anything to say to him?

RR – I am sure he is a nice person.  I always say you can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.  Have you seen him eat jellybeans?

JJ – I am sure that after reading this, he will let me know how he eats jellybeans but I am pretty sure his answer will be that he never eats jellybeans.

What is Love ? This is My Husband's Answer

I have been married for 40 years and 9 months.  That is important to know because when I had been married 25 years and 8 months my husband wrote me a letter and told me about his love for me.  Love comes from God – which I am sure you know.  The vow we took on our wedding day was before God.  We knew God had brought us together and now, more than 40 years later, we constantly see God in our lives.  Please enjoy reading this love letter from husband to wife.  I hope my girls see how much their Father and Mother love them.  They are part of the love we had for each other. 

Julie

As I looked back over the last 25 years 8 month I realized that there are some things that I believed from that first time I took you for a ride in my car.

I believed from the time that I dropped you off at home that first night that my plans were being changed by something far greater than me.  In my plans marriage, or even thoughts of it, were at least 5 years into the future.

At that time I was not walking with the God that I had been exposed to and taught about for my entire life, yet that very God prompted me to ask you, after I had known you for only two weeks, to be my wife.  I had barely had enough time to learn your full name and I was preparing to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.  When I was trying to make sense of what I was hearing, it was more than I could ever imagine.  I certainly wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone like me so how could I expect you to do it.  I asked in spite of my doubts because I was told to.

To my surprise, and I imagine to yours also, you said yes, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Another thing that I had always thought to be a lot of hooie was the idea of love at first sight.  God has shown me that there is such a thing.  It is not between a man and a woman where, at best, these may be interest at first sight.  The love between a man and a woman is a process that takes an entire lifetime.  True love at first sight exists only with God because he knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb and loved us enough to sacrifice His Son for us.

The only other time that I am personally aware of love at first sight was when I first caught sight of my girls.  Yes, I know that they are our girls but at that moment they were my girls and the love at that first sight was mine.  You were having your own “love at first sight” experience. 

I just want you to know that this journey has been one that I wouldn’t have missed for anything.  I have a deeper love for you now than I could ever have imagined and I hope and pray that as we go through the next 25 years that as we grow closer to God, we will continue to grow closer in our love and commitment to each other.  You mean more to me than life itself and I love you!

If not for you, I wouldn’t be me.

Thank you!

I ask you, the reader, how could any wife not melt at the words in this letter, even more than 15 years after it was written?

February 3, 1912 - 100 Years Ago My Daddy was Born

Daddy and Me

February 3, 2012 is a bitter-sweet day for me.  For the last year I have watched this date grow closer and closer.  My Father would have been 100 years old on February 3, 2012.  I wish I could say I have tons of wonderful memories but I really only have a few.  The most important memory that my Dad passed on to me is always buy a Ford.  I hope that makes you smile.  I drive a Ford and have for years.  My Mom believed my Dad had it right and she preferred a Ford over any other brand of car. 

My Father had two sisters that I remember. Esther Walker lived in Milford Michigan and I loved to visit her house. They owned Walker and Son’s Honey.  Their company was the first to have a bear with honey in it on the store shelves and they were the first to come out with whipped honey. They raised honey bees and my parents lived over the honeyhouse at one point, but that was before they had me.  They had moved back to Muskegon by the time I was born.  Every year my Aunt Esther would make a wreath of wrapped candy and send it to us along with honey and honeycomb and whipped honey.  I looked forward to the box every year.

One other dear memory was one my Mom talked about many times over her lifetime.  She talked about how we drove to Detroit where Dad’s sister, Henrietta Pepperman, lived.  (I love saying her name).  She had animals and I was allergic.  We tried to make it work but in the middle of the night, when my Dad thought I couldn’t breathe much longer if we stayed, he loaded the family in the car and drove back across the state.  By the time we got home I was doing really well with my breathing.  We never visited her house again. 

I know my Dad had a brother, Richard, but I don’t remember if we ever met.  Both of his parents passed away before my Mom met Dad.  I can’t believe it, but his mother’s name was Allie Boop.  No kidding!  I don’t remember his father’s name.

 I remember my Dad spent much of his time across the street from our house at the gas station.  He loved working on cars.  Other memories are quite vague.  I remember attending the Tulip Festival in Holland, Michigan with my Dad and Mom.  I remember traveling to a wedding from Dad’s side of the family.  It was in Ohio, but I don’t remember the city.  I remember that when one sister, Ranae, was sick, I got to sleep with my Dad.  He always let me put my feet between his legs to warm them up.  I always felt safe and secure with him.  He had blood vessels that bulged in his forearms.  I still can see his arms when I think of him.  I find that very attractive.  When I was working at Calico Cat there was a customer that came in a couple of times a year.  He shocked me every time I saw him because he looked exactly like my Dad when he died.  Exactly.  It was so startling that I couldn’t wait on him.  I would conceal myself so he couldn’t see me watching him.  By then Dad would have been in his late 70s or early 80s.  This man looked like my Dad when he was 49.

August 14, 1938

My very favorite memory was within just months of when he passed away.  I was 11 years old at the time and we had just moved into a new home on Seminole Road in Muskegon.  They purchased the home and we moved in during June of 1961.  He passed away in November 1961 so this took place between these months.

To give a little background, my bedroom was done in knotty pine.  It was a Cape Cod type room with sloped ceilings and storage behind the walls.  The window was one that, when opened, was a flat piece of glass.  The room was small but it was mine.  The only other room upstairs was unfinished but twice the size of my room.  I believe the idea was it would be finished and used as another bedroom.    Since we had just moved there, my friends all lived near our old house.  I was allowed to invite my best friend at that time, Dona Jarvi, to come and spend the night on a Friday night.  On Saturday morning we woke up but didn’t go downstairs very early.  At some point my Dad came up carrying a small basket.  He started picking up the sheets and blankets and looking underneath them.  I asked what he was doing and his reply was “with all of this cackling I thought there must be some fresh eggs laid up here.  I am preparing for breakfast of bacon and eggs.”  We giggled and giggled about my Dad when that happened. That is my very favorite memory.  Even when I think of it 50 years later, I still smile at this thought.  I really would have loved having more years with him.

While I have 11 years of memories, I have lived nearly 51 years without any new memories.  Dad brought home a used television when I was about 10.  It was our first TV.  He wasn’t alive to have color TV, computers, and other new technology.  The new Fords would delight him, I am sure.  He also wasn’t here to meet his son-in-law, Mike.  Remember, he had 5 daughters so a son-in-law would have been a blessing, but Mike loved working on cars so that would have been common ground for them.   My Dad wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle (my fabulous Uncle Milburn did that) and he wasn’t here to meet his granddaughters, Holly and Missy, or his great grandchildren.  I think they would have loved him and he would have adored them.  In one month we will celebrate another special day.  On March 5^th my Dad’s namesake, his grandson, Max, will be three years old.  I wish they could have known each other.   You can’t go back and change your life, but sometimes you can’t help but wish you had more memories that include someone you still love 51 years later.