How much does your vote mean to you?

How badly do you want to vote?  How much do you think the country IS or IS NOT going in the right direction?  Are you willing to sacrifice to make your voice heard? Waiting in line can be a sacrifice.

When I was old enough for my first opportunity to vote – which was 21 back in the day I had my first opportunity to vote – my Mom talked to me about the responsibility of voting.  I shared the same information with my girls when they were given their first chance to vote at age 18.  Mom said you research the candidates – all of the ones in races where you are planning to vote.  You carefully make your choice.  If your person wins and they don’t turn out to be the person you thought they were, you stay quiet until election time and then you become vocal so they are, hopefully, not chosen again.  She also said that if you carefully examine the people running for an office and you don’t like either of them - - don’t vote for either one of them!  It is okay to pass that part of the ballet by and not vote for either person.   I have passed by parts of the ballot nearly every time I have gone to vote.  There are actually elections on the ballots at the state level that I will probably NEVER vote on because I wonder why they aren’t just hired by the state instead of them being an elected official because there is no way for me to know anything about how worthy they are of my trust.  A hired person can be fired; an elected official sometimes keeps their job just because people recognize their name, not because they are trustworthy. Sometimes I look at how long someone has been in office and check to see if their voting record and take into account how many times they didn’t vote at all.  I have voted for Republican and Democrat candidates because my Mom said to do my own research and not to rely on what someone else tells me.  I rarely have the opportunity to hear Glenn Beck but recently heard him while I was driving back to work from a doctor’s appointment.  Glenn Beck told his listeners to NEVER forget to do their own research.  He said not to rely on him to be anything more than a instrument in each person’s quest to vote.

I met an adorable young lady who is from Venezuela and is a student at the University of South Florida.  When I first met her I was amazed to hear how far she had come to attend college.  Even more surprising was when she travelled home to vote.  I couldn’t believe that her country doesn’t have mail in voting. She told me she was registered at the embassy in Miami and was to travel there to cast her vote.  The day AFTER the registrations were closed and she was committed to that embassy, the embassy was closed which left her no place to vote without flying back to Venezuela.  So she flew back to Venezuela.  She left Saturday morning, flew from Tampa to Miami and then to Venezuela.  She was due back in class on Monday and had made plane reservations carefully so she would be back in time for class. Unfortunately her plane home was delayed and she didn’t make it back to class until Tuesday.  Her vote was so important to her that she not only flew home, she waited hours in line to cast her vote, only to come home on a 9 hour delayed flight and return to class with little rest.  She was so proud of what she had done.  Can you imagine how much that one vote cost in dollars, not just lack of sleep?

How long are you willing to wait in line?  Are you willing to take someone else to the poll?  How much does your vote mean to you?  Did you do your own research or did you rely on your Facebook or your neighbor to tell you who will do the best for you?  Is your union telling you who to vote for?  You pay them but I dare say you aren’t expecting them to make up your mind for you.  You are 24 hours away from the end of this cycle and the next cycle will begin almost immediately.  Don’t grow weary, make a choice and cast your vote.

WE WELCOME MAIZIE MAE HUGHES

Maizie Mae 7 weeks old

We have had a new grandbaby on July 19, 2012.  This time our baby, Melissa Sunshine, had a baby girl, Maizie Mae.  That gives us two boys – Holden, age 14, and Max, age 3 plus a baby girl.  Holden has always been the studious one.  Holden is fun but quite quiet. Holden comes and stays with us every summer.  Holden turned 15 on Tuesday and now we wonder how many more summers he will want to come stay with us. Max is just the opposite from Holden.  When Maizie was born, Mike was already at Missy’s visiting and I joined Mike a week later.  It was a long week having to wait to see Maizie for the first time.  We were both so very excited to come to be wih our new granddaughter but the entertainment of our three year old is amazing.  I use the word amazing because I said “Maizie is amazing” and for about 2 hours every sentence spoken by Max had the word amazing in it. One night the two boys rough housed on the living room floor.  You have to understand Holden.  He does not like anything dirty including his brothers feet. If the feet have touched the floor since his last “tub” they must be dirty.  Max and Holden were on the floor and Max kept coming up to Holden and put his foot up on Holden’s shoulder.  He wanted to put his foot in Holden’s hair.  This is a great way to make his big brother just a little crazy.  They rolled around and laughed and giggled.  It was so great because having had only girls myself, I always thought only girls giggle.  Apparently not.

Holden, Max and Maizie, Day 1
 

Now, I wouldn’t want anyone to think we aren’t paying attention to Maizie because we held her every minute we could.  But at that point, holding her and staring at Maizie was about all we could do.  That said, we were enjoying our entertainment from the boys.  A few weeks before Maizie was born we were video chatting with the kids and Max said “I am so embarrassed”.  We asked why and he answered “I am so embarrassed”.  Mike asked him what he was embarrassed about.  He answered again “I am so embarrassed”.  We then heard his mother in the background saying Max learned a new word but doesn’t know what it means.  That kind of follows his standard on our video chats.  All of a sudden Max will say “I have an idea – I’ll be right back”.  He takes off only to return to talk and then say the same thing - “I have an idea – I’ll be right back”.  It cracks us up because we never have been able to tell what his idea is.  He is a kid with big words and big ideas. 

Holden was amazing when Max was born and is no less amazing with Maizie.  Just like with Max, Holden will sit and hold Maizie, humming to her for hours so she will sleep.  He can quiet Maizie more quickly, sometimes, than Mommy.  Like I said, he did this with Max too. 

One afternoon we were getting ready to go out.  Max decided he wanted to choose what he wore.  The shorts were fine but the shirt was one he had worn to Stone Mountain when Bumpa took Max and Holden on an adventure to Atlanta earlier that week.  Mike calmly said they should look at the shirt.  There were 2 chocolate stains and one ketchup stain.  He relented and wore his Tampa Bay Rays shirt but not until he announced several times that “it’s just not a big deal.”  Missy said he has picked those words up from her.  She said she tries to pick her battles and says it when she needs to.

Maizie - 9 days old

We took the entire family to a Chattanooga Lookout baseball game.  Max LOVES baseball.  I am not a big baseball fan but having Max to watch at the game was worth twice the price of admission.  Max kept an eye on the mound and the player up to bat.  When it was the opposing team he shouted to the batter “You’re going down buddy” and pointed his thumb down.  He begged the players on the field to throw a ball to him.  Next time he goes he plans to take his new baseball glove with him.  Max is a social butterfly as well.  He also loves blondes.  There was a woman with her husband and two teenage son’s just two rows in front of us.  When the boys got up to go somewhere, Max went down and took the seat next to the blonde.  He told her his life history, and since he had only three years to cover, I think he went over it twice. He has done a lot over his three years and every day is something new.  He showed her his “war wound” from where he got a shot the day before.  When I arrived to meet Maizie for the first time, Melissa was just leaving to take Maizie to the doctor for another bilirubin test.  Max wanted to join us so I told him I would get him a shot.  I thought it would be a deterrent but he wanted a shot.  Who knew?  When the shot was over he got a great round spot Band-Aid.  That made a war wound to show the lady. He checked out her jewelry and kept her entertained until her sons returned.  The one who had occupied that seat let Max keep the seat and he sat a row behind Max.  The blonde said she really had fun with him.

One day Max wanted to have an empty spray bottle filled with water.  His Dad said that maybe later he would fill it.  Max took the bottle apart, looked through the clear bottle part like it was a spy glass then took the spray trigger part and tried to shoot the TV.  Then Max removed the straw from the trigger and used it for a musical instrument and marched around the room. Water?   Who needs water? Like I said, Max is pure entertainment.

Missy, Maizie and Max flew in for a visit a week ago followed by Phil and Holden who drove down the next day.  Funny, but they found out that their car did not fit 3 children,  especially when one is 6 foot tall.  No matter how many ways they tried to configure the two little ones’ seats, Holden has space for only one butt cheek on the seat.  Any way you look at it, riding 10 hours on one butt cheek would be horrible.  This meant when they were all in Tampa they went looking for a mini-van.  That meant Phil drove home and allowed our daughter and three children to stay with us.  We haven’t had a house full for a while and it is fantastic!  Imagine 24/7 entertainment.  All Max, all the time.  Maizie and Holden are great too, but once again, Max steals the show all the time.  He plays on Holly’s and Mike’s iPad and wants to have us play too.  If one of them isn’t available he hits up Holden for his iPad.

Max is very concerned if Maizie cries and tries to sooth her by kissing on her cheek or her tummy.  Max is a ball of energy, though and full of questions.  How do I know he is full of questions?  Because he says “Mimi, I got a question” about 30 times a day.  You very sweetly say “what’s your question?” and his answer is followed with something like “ I watched the Wiggles today”.  Okay. (Sarcasm is not heard in writing but the word okay came with a lot)  He is so cute and adorable you just can’t help but laugh a little every time he says “I got a question.”  Holden said he had no idea where he got this question but it wasn’t long before we knew.  Holden says “I have a question” about 10 times a day.  We just hadn’t noticed it before.

On Saturday we left the house at 11:00 to go to Mazzaro’s Italian Market in St. Petersburg.  It was wonderful.  We had such a great time at the Market.  Shopping and lunch in the best place in the Tampa Bay area.  The amount of people that go through there on a Saturday is unbelievable.  You take a number for ordering meat, one for ordering bread, one for getting coffee, one for fresh made pasta and one for ordering lunch at the deli.  Sounds horrible but they are so well organized and so fantastic. Their Raisin Bread is worth standing in line several times over.  Toasted Raisin Bread from the Italian Market with two kinds of raisin’s is great with a little brown sugar or cinnamon and sugar or even just butter on it is so yummy.   Lunch was wonderful.  Holly and Holden had meatball sandwiches and the meatballs were each about 4 inches across.  Holden accepted the challenge and ate it regular style.  Holly used a knife and fork to eat the meatballs and bread.  Max ordered Pizza and ate two bites then became Mr. Cranky-Pants.  It didn’t matter what was said, he would not be consoled.  Next stop, Aunt Jane’s.  Of course Max fell asleep in the 4 miles it took to drive between Mazarro’s and Jane’s.  Holden stayed in the van with the sleeping Max and air conditioning.  What a difference a nap made in Max.  He was better but not but not good enough to go to the baseball game so the game was delayed until Sunday.  Isn’t it nice that there are baseball games several days in a row for a series?  The next day they went to see the Ray’s play.  This is Maizie’s second baseball game.  Holden went to his first baseball game when he was 6 months old, Max at about a year old when he was just starting to walk.  Maizie, at less that 6 weeks, had been to two baseball games. 

Just before Missy drove back with the kids they spent a weekend at Busch Gardens and Adventure Island.  I met them after their day at Adventure Island at Steak and Shake.  Max had been playing a game with Aunt Holly.  They were picking new names for themselves every day.  The day they went to Adventure Island Max was calling himself Carmen and Holly had picked Emma.  They never could get  Holden to participate.  He was almost 15, remember.  Picking a new name would be way beneath someone Holden’s age.  When Max would ask him what his name was, he said his name was Holden.  This went on for the entire day!  By the time I met them at Steak and Shake Holden was tired and frustrated.  I arrived just in time for Max’s second wind.  He decided to name Holden “Barbara”.  I think you will recognize the fun in the picture as Max kept saying Holden was now “Barbara” and Holden kept saying his name was and always will be Holden.  I know you will easily see his funny character in the photo.

The visit with Missy and the kids lasted for a month.  It was fantastic.  There are more stories I could easily tell but I plan on keeping them to myself so I can use them as leverage when they are older.  I love having the grandkids close.  It is hard having that part of our family 10 hours away but we have found that video chats keep us close.  We love talking with them as often as possible.  Every step in being a grandparent is just as new as every step as a parent.  Holden turned 15 last Tuesday.  He will finish high school soon and begin college within the next year.  Max will get older and we look forward to his achievements, just like we did Holden’s.  What I really look forward to, though, is going through the time when Maizie is 3 years old and everything is a wonder again.  Just thinking about how blessed we are makes me smile in anticipation.

PEOPLE WANT SOLUTIONS, THEY ALREADY KNOW THE PROBLEMS

Have you ever thought you might like to be in the Senate or perhaps a Congressman?  Which would you want to be a representative in your State Congress or in the US Congress?  I know I would love to have the benefits in either place – the pay, too.  Especially in the US Congress.  We pay them a boatload of money every year to have people wait on them hand and foot and fly here and there at a whim.  I can’t help but wonder, am I getting my moneys worth?  I don’t think so!

In my younger days I was a manager for a wonderful gift shop, Calico Cat in Tampa.  It was the best job I ever had yet it was also the most difficult.  I not only stood on my feet all day but I had to lift furniture, tote boxes, hang pictures on walls, dust more than you will ever know, hire and fire and smile all day long.  The hiring was a breeze.  I hired people that loved the store.  I once hired a young person that feigned a love for the store but it was quickly evident that they loved the things they liked to do more.  There was not a feeling of attachment or love of the store so they just didn’t feel it was necessary to be there if they got a better offer of something to do.   This left everyone else stranded and the staff shorthanded. I went back to hiring people that loved the store and everything in it.  I hired people who came in as customers often.   As the manager, I felt everything within the four walls was my responsibility.  That is a huge responsibility but I had an owner that knew that was how I felt and that is why she trusted me to take care of her store.  She had three stores and a main office so she needed to know her business was being well cared for.

I look at our government and feel there is not anyone who feels they have “skin in the game”.  They have been there a long time – some for thirty or forty years – and they only thing they do for us is give us a smile as they “stick it to us”.  I especially feel abused when I hear about the “Affordable Care Act” and about their inability to give us, the American People, an idea of how they will cut spending.

I want to take you back to Calico Cat and the lessons I learned from Susan Clark, the owner of the store, that I would like to apply to our government.

1.     Vote for people that have a LOVE for this country.  Not for those that have a great slogan or promise something you know they can’t deliver.   People talk about how Romney is so rich.  Yes he is rich so he is not applying for the job of President because he wants to make money and he is certainly well known already so he doesn’t need a leg up with what others can do for him.  He gave up the job that provided him with money to head our US Olympic Committee in 1999 because they were having financial difficulties.  He was able to turn the problems of the Olympics into success.  He had a love for the athletes and the joy they could bring the American people as they were in the Olympics.

2.    Keep a smile on your face – even during adversity.  If you have an angry customer in a gift shop and they want to rant and rave and get louder and louder, just like Debbie Wasserman Schultz,  you need to smile back and present the FACTS, not join the shouting match.  Do I think Romney needs to be more passionate and perhaps shout and yell?  No, I think that he needs to come out with a sincere smile on his face and show the passion he has for America while he talks about the issues that are important to the American people like JOBS and TAXES.  While I may think TAXES is my main issue, I think JOBS is the issue for far more people out of work right now.  I also think Romney needs to address a plan on how he would take people that are part of our “Hand-out System” and give them a desire to be self-sufficient.  The Obama party is saying Romney will take everything away from them on day one. Romney’s version of “Growing the Economy” is the best way to go, and I get that, but HOW does it work for people on assistance?  Some people are not Mensa candidates and can’t see how the Romney plan works.  I see it and appreciate it but I am 62 years old and lived through this type of economy before.  Young people, especially those under 30, don’t have any economic understanding of “Growing the Economy” and how it can help them.  They only know that someone is sending them a check all of the time and that works for them.  They don’t even have to get off their couch or turn off the TV to have the money drop in their account.  They don’t care that the money comes from you and me.

3.    This is my big tip of the day – When I worked for Susan Clark I learned she was a great problem solver.  She believed that if you came to her with a problem, you should bring two solutions to the problem.  She explained that if you come with two solutions you have fully thought out the problem and weren’t married to one solution or the other.  Because you had two solutions, Susan would work with you to combine both of the solutions and add her own take to the issue and come up with a plan that was the best solution for the problem.  I learned so much from this woman that I could write a book.  In Congress today, if both sides could come to the table with two solutions to every problem there would be four solutions and neither side could say the other wasn’t working because together they could blend the four into a solution for the American people.  We deserve that, don’t we?  They work for us, don’t they?

I made under $450 a week managing a staff of people that loved their job and they made little more than minimum wage.  I loved my job and worked more hours than I care to remember BUT I loved the store. It wasn’t money that kept me there it was the passion I had for the company where I worked. Do the people we have elected show that they love or have passion for the AMERICAN people?  Do they think of the AMERICAN people, all of them, not just the ones in their state, when they come up with bills or add expensive things to good bills?  If you answered no, think about who you are voting for this election.  Perhaps we need to change things from the top down.

Pursuit of an iPad

Pursuit of an iPad

Our Story, how we met and married 41 years ago today

I first met Michael Paul Jaunese in October of 1970.  I was dating someone else and we had talked about getting married so Mike seemed safe enough to talk to.  Mike had just gotten home from the Navy and was ready to have a little fun; hardly ready to settle down.  We both worked at the Muskegon Chronicle. Mike was a pressman apprentice before the Navy and returned from Japan and the Philippines to the position he had before joining the Navy.  I had begun working in the display advertising department at the newspaper in 1969.  Mike was overseas at the time so we had never met.  I had, however, mailed him letters from his Dad on regular basis since part of my job was to take the office mail to the post office everyday.  Included in that mail were letters from his Dad because his Father was the Production Manager of the newspaper.  I really liked the man who would become my Father-in-Law.  He had a great sense of humor and treaded all of the girls in the advertising department very kindly and with respect.  This made quite and impression on me since I was only 19 when I began working at the newspaper.  I wanted a job at the newspaper so badly that I went at least once a week to check on my application there until they finally gave me a job.

Mike returned from the Navy in the early fall of 1970 and came back to work at the Chronicle.  Part of my job at the paper was to stop at the Greyhound Bus Station every Saturday I worked to pick up advertising from national advertisers.  This would always make me a few minutes later than the rest of the Saturday staff.  I parked my car and headed to the door of the mail room.  There was Mike, leaning on the door with his forehead on the door and his hand on the doorknob.  You can imagine what a first impression this made on me?  I asked Mike if he would like me to open the door for him and he politely said yes.   Upon entering the mail room and seeing his entire face, I knew he needed help.  I asked if I could get him some aspirin.  He was hungover!  “No thanks” was the reply.  This guy looked like death warmed over.  I later found out that this was also how he felt; like death warmed over.  He had been drinking most of the night; exercising his elbow, is how Mike liked to put it.  He had come home just in time go get ready for work.  He sat down on his bed and began putting on fresh socks – that’s when he fell over and went to sleep.  His Dad came in to see why he hadn’t left for work yet and found him sound asleep.  I now understand that falling asleep in strange places wasn’t new to Mike.  He had been doing that since he was a child.  Once as a child living on busy Wood Street in Muskegon he was fell asleep on the curb.  Another time he was found asleep half in and half outside of the screen door when he was suppose to be coming in the house to take a nap.  In any event, his sleeping that morning made him late for work.  As we got to know each other better he confessed how and why he was found at the back door of the paper.  He got to the door and couldn’t remember if he was to push or pull to get in the door so he just stopped and waited for someone to come and open the door for him.  You can easily see how he made a great first impression on me.

Mike had been back at work about a week.  Each day I saw Mike on his break in the lunch room of the paper.  Picture it – Mike had decided, after leaving the Navy, to let his beard and hair grow.  He was quite disheveled.  His most redeeming factor at this point was that Mike had a great car!  I wanted a ride in this car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  He drove a new 1971 Triumph TR6.  This was a superb, magnificent car!  I had to have a ride in this car!  I knew my new goal in life was to get a ride in this car.  From here on I knew my objective and I set my sight on obtaining my prize.  Simply stated - - MY AIM AND GOAL WAS TO GET A RIDE IN MIKE’S CAR.

At this time I was about 5 foot 1 inch and was a tiny size 3.  I had long hair and never wore my glasses if I could get away with it.  They just weren’t the look I was going for, if you know what I mean.  I knew I was pretty enough because I had been in the Miss Muskegon pageant.  I know that sounds corny but there were many who entered the pageant but only 16 were chosen to be in the pageant.  I was one who was accepted so I must have been attractive enough.  One day I decided how I would get a ride in this magnificent automobile.  I wrote a note on a slip of paper and marched right over to him in the lunch room, with all of his department sitting at the same table.  I gave him the note and told him it had my name and address on the paper and I wanted a ride in his car!  I also told him I added my phone number just in case he got lost. PHEEW!  That was over.  Now all I had to do was wait and see if he would show up.  I didn’t stick around the lunch room to see his reaction.  I said just enough and made a quick exit.  Reality swiftly set in.  I had been impetuous and hadn’t thought for a second that my Mom was going to see this disheveled guy and freak out.  I had always prided myself that I didn’t date anyone who got dirty on their job.  Now there was this guy, a newspaper pressman who got filthy on his job and he was coming to my house.  My mind was racing a mile a minute and I decided to tell my Mom the truth.  This was not a date; it was just a ride in his car, nothing more.  Would she buy it?

I got home about 5:30 and took my chances.  I figured it would look less like a date if I didn’t spend time changing and getting “dolled” up.  This was NOT a date. It came time to tell my Mom about him.  I told her I realized I hadn’t brought anyone home before that  who looked scruffy  but all I wanted was a ride in this guys car and that was all!  She seemed OK about it.  (My own Dad worked in a foundry and got very dirty every day.  I don’t know why dirty jobs for men bothered me.)  I couldn’t believe it.  All this worry on my part and she didn’t care that he looked, at the time, like someone that had been “dug up” and I mean that literally.

Seven-thirty came and so did Mike.  We left the house and began our little joy ride.  We talked and talked.  He really was a nice guy under all that hair.  Now this, I realize makes it seem like he HAD lots of hair on his head – untrue!  He was rapidly going bald but what he did have was just scruffy.  Anyway, we drove on back roads and just took a turn when we came to the end of a road.  By the time we realized it we needed to find out how to get home – it was well after 11 p.m. and we were half way across Michigan.  Not bad for a ride, right?  We talked about the Navy and about the Philippines and Japan where Mike had been stationed.  We talked about him growing up in a large family of 4 boys and 4 girls.  We talked about him going to a private Christian school all of his life.  We especially talked about our dreams and aspirations.  I distinctly remember Mike telling me he “was not getting married for 5 years and not having children for 5 years after that.”  I was interested in someone else, the same guy I had liked since my freshman year of high school at age 14.  He and I dated for a while when I was 14 and broke up and he had been the first guy I had fallen for – hard.  We had become reacquainted when he was a senior in college and had been discussing a life together.  After college he took a job in Iowa so we only saw each other on occasional weekends.  I still really was attached to him so seeing Mike was safe, meaning I wasn’t looking to fall in love with a scruffy pressman.  I was happy with my life the way it was.

We arrived at my house about 2:30 a.m.  We said our good-byes and I went straight to bed.  Who would have thought a car ride could change two lives.

The next morning Mike called me before I left for work and thanked me for asking him to on the drive and asked if we could go out for another drive or someplace else sometime.  I figured it was okay as long as it didn’t interfere with my weekend because my other guy was coming home to two days to see me.  That weekend every hour I wasn’t spending with my Iowa friend, I was spending it with Mike.  Iowa was to come say good-bye before he left, so I made him some cupcakes to take back with him.  He hadn’t show up yet when Mike came to pick me up, and I didn’t want to tell Mike there was an Iowa, so I went out with Mike thinking Iowa had gotten a late start and headed back without stopping.  When I returned home that evening my Mom said “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes”.  I thanked her and she said again “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes” I said yes, I understood but she repeated with deliberate words, “I gave away a dozen of your cupcakes.  They are gone.”  I understood exactly what she meant.  Iowa had shown up, I was gone, and she gave him the cupcakes to take back to Iowa.  I got it!

From then on you would have thought Mike had no where else to go.  He was at my house every evening and he frequently picked me up for work in the morning.  He even let me DRIVE his car.  Living in a family without males was great because I didn’t have to put up with guy things before this time.  This was a whole new world.  Mike liked Monday night football and I tried to share this with him.  I remember (and so does he if you ask him) about my first game.  My Mom came in part of the way through the game and asked who was playing.  I could only remember the name of the one team – the Pittsburgh Snitchers.  Mike thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.  It was the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Stealing and Snitching all sounded like taking a ball away from the other team, which was exactly what they were doing. 

Mike and I dated for two weeks when he decided to take me to the most wonderful restaurant within several counties.   It was about 40 miles from Muskegon and was right on Lake Michigan.  I had never been there but knew it was heavenly. Unfortunately, I didn’t know he was taking me there.  My Mom and I had gone shopping that day.  I bought my first pant suit that day and I bought my first mini dress.  I was so excited!  Mike had asked me to go out that night but hadn’t told me where we were going.  When I answered the door in my new pant suit, there was Mike standing there in a suit.  I asked where we were going and found out it was Pointe West.  I quickly changed from my new pant suit to my new mini dress.  We were about half way to the restaurant in Holland, Michigan when Mike asked me what I thought about him shaving off his beard.  I hadn’t even noticed.  He had gotten a hair cut and cleaned up.  Under that unkempt person emerged a fantastic guy.  The restaurant was passing out perfume samples but I don’t remember the scent.  I also remember our table was in the back of the restaurant, not at all where I would have liked to sit.  I had always dreamed of going to this restaurant located right on Lake Michigan.  I thought every table was near a window where you could look out on the water.  I was surprised that this was a large, unromantic place.  This goes to show just how I can build things up in my head.  Mike always says I look forward with such anticipation that things rarely end up being as wonderful as I anticipate them in my mind.

As Mike brought me home that night he really kissed me.  I thought I heard him say under his breath that he loved me.  I had to ask him just to be sure – “what did you say?” -  he said he loved me and wanted to marry me.  I was shocked!  My next question was “Why do you want to marry me?”  I will never forget his words “Because God told me to!”  This sounds so magnanimous yet God really didn’t play a huge part in our early marriage.  I know that if he hadn’t said that God had told him to marry me, I might have missed out on all of our wonderful years together. 

We went looking for diamonds soon after that.  When it came to setting our wedding date we decided to get married on my Mother’s birthday.  My parents had been married on my Grandmother’s birthday so we thought that date would be an ideal time.  We have since had our daughter Missy.  She was born on my Grandmother’s birthday, which was also my parent’s anniversary.  Both holiday’s were no longer observed since my Grandma died when I was pregnant for Holly and my Dad died when I was 11 years old.

Our wedding was everything I had ever dreamed about while growing up.  We had 5 bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and a flower girl.  Mike’s sister, Kelly Jo, was the highlight of our wedding as our flower girl.  She was dressed in a dress that looked just like my wedding dress.  She was very beautiful and had long flowing white hair and was 4 years old.  She looked like an angel floating down the aisle.  Then there were the little things she did during the service.  She tried to look up under my veil and she picked up the pennies that the pastor had put on the floor to mark where each person was to stand.  Our ring bearer was also a cutie.  He was only 2 ½ years old and thought this meant he’d have to marry Kelly Jo and he didn’t want to get married.  We almost didn’t get him to go down the aisle.  During the rehearsal he refused to walk down the aisle.  He was also unpredictable as a scene stealer.  He was so small he had to lift each leg to go up the steps to the alter.   Once there he decided to take each petal out of his boutonnière and throw it on the floor – one petal at a time.   The groomsmen had been equipped by his Mother with sticks of gum to keep him quiet and happy.  The sticks were individually wrapped so that meant he needed to find a place for the trash.  You can just imagine the rest.  As I write this it still makes me smile all of these years later.

The groomsmen consisted of Jim Jaunese as his brother’s best man, Jim Burmeister, Jim Madison, David Jaunese and Mike Natte.  Mike Poole and Bill Bryant (the ring bearers Dad) were the ushers.  This meant we had 3 Mike’s 3 Jim’s a David and a Bill in the wedding party (including Mike Jaunese).  The bridesmaids were Beth Houghteling as maid of honor, Debbie and Robin Hanks (cousins), and Ranae my sister.  Rounding out the five was Sandra Hunter.  Sandra had been a friend from first grade that had moved to California when we finished third grade.  We had kept in touch all of those years via mail.  It was also her 21^st birthday that day and she had given up spending her birthday with her twin sister just to be in our wedding.  My sisters Jane and Lisa were our junior bridesmaids.

Hard to believe we made it through the wedding.  There were approximately 325 people that attended the wedding.  Our food for all of those people in 1971 was $125. And that included the $25 that went to the church hospitality committee.   We had ham sandwiches, potato and macaroni salads, various other items and my Aunt Margaret’s baked beans. 

Mike decided to work the day of the wedding since we got married on a Friday and the wedding wasn’t until 8 p.m.  I found out that he was a bundle of nerves that day and he was found with his head in the trash vomiting about 2 that afternoon.  I had arrived at the church early and found myself upstairs in the kitchen helping the ladies of the church make sandwiches.  As the time for the wedding grew closer and closer nerves took their toll on me as well.  My new sister’s- in- law came down to the bride’s dressing room and asked me where they should sit.   I told them to sit in the row with the first bow from the back, second bow from the front.  Many years later I was asked why they had to sit in the last row of the church.  Obviously communication was not easy that day with a nervous bride.  I am surprised they are still talking to me. 

We renewed our vows for our 25^th Wedding Anniversary.  Are things always perfect?  Not at all.  We continue to work at having a great marriage, even after 41 years.  I can’t imagine my life without Mike.

The wording of our invitation was unique but really turned out to be very true.

I am such a blessed woman.

Mike – I love you!

Honeymoon - Nearly 41 Years Ago

In just a few days Mike and I will celebrate the 41^st anniversary of the date we said “I DO”.  It seems like it was yesterday when we got married.  I imagine you are wondering how it can feel like yesterday when we have had children and grandchildren.  My minds-eye feels like it was yesterday. Anyway, because we are a few days away from our anniversary, I began thinking about our honeymoon.  If you know me, you know I am a planner. I love a vacation and I like to pack as much into it as I can.  Relaxing is not on my schedule.  I haven’t changed over the years and one of my daughters, I am not saying which one, thinks my expectations are too high.  Well, a honeymoon should have lots of things planned.  I planned and then God laughed and said “not so fast”

We were married on May 14, 1971, a Friday evening.  It was a beautiful day.  Warm, sunny, fabulous.  My childhood friend Sandra had flown out from California to be one of my 5 bridesmaids.  My best friend, Beth, was my maid of honor.  It was a fabulous day – at least it should have been.  I got to the church so early that I went upstairs to the kitchen and helped make sandwiches for the reception.  I found out that Mike had tried to work that day but mid-day someone found him losing his lunch so they sent him home.  There were several other things that happened as well but a girl has to save something only she and her husband know about.  All of this and we hadn’t even gotten to the ceremony yet.

Mike decided that driving his little Triumph TR6 was not a good idea.  He was concerned one of his friends might have a way of following him to our “special” location for the night so he exchanged his car with my Grandpa’s car and drove that car to the wedding.  When the reception ended we took Grandpa’s old car back to exchange it for our car.  We found 3 flat tires on our car.  Now at this time of the night, and on your wedding night, you really are NOT worried about flat tires.  We decided to take Grandpa’s car to the hotel and begin our honeymoon and tackle the tires on Saturday.  We had a beautiful suite at a brand new hotel.  Mike had reserved the honeymoon suite but it wasn’t ready yet so we stayed in the Master suite.  It had 3 beautiful rooms and a large bathtub. 

On Saturday I had planned we would leave first thing in the morning.  Three flat tires prevented that from happening.  We left at 2 in the afternoon.  My plan was we were having dinner at Niagra Falls.  That didn’t happen.  Mike had the tires fixed and we headed east out of Muskegon.  We stopped at a great place in East Lansing called “Best Steak House”  I had been there many times and really liked it.  While we were in the restaurant having a late, very late, lunch one of our tires decided to go flat for the second time.  It turned out that the person who flattened our tires (GREG) added a special treat.  He unscrewed the valve stem so the tire wouldn’t hold air.  Now we were even further behind.  We finally make it into Canada and we headed toward our destination.  Now anyone else would have stopped at one of the hotels along the way but not me, we were headed to Niagra Falls and I was determined to spend the night in Niagra Falls.  We made it there at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning.  We checked into the Sheraton Foxhead and it was right at the falls.  As we checked in the lady at registration said there were two rooms left to choose from.  Mike said he would park the car and I could choose the room.  I think he regrets it to this day.  One room had a queen size bed and faced the alley.  The other room was not really a sleeping room but more of a meeting room.  It had a pull out sofa and faced the falls.  I had planned on us having a view of the falls and so of course I chose the room that didn’t have a bed for night two of our honeymoon.  We slept until about 10 o’clock Sunday morning and then had breakfast, looked at the falls, went to the “House of Wax” and headed to our next destination – Boston.  I had never been there before so I was excited and couldn’t wait to get there.  Boston was a long way from Niagra Falls but I knew we could make it before we went to bed that night.  Mike drew the line in the sand and said we would not be driving to Boston, he wanted a honeymoon and we would be stopping for the night and complete the drive to Boston on Monday.  We stopped in Utica NY at a Holiday Inn.  They gave us a beautiful room facing the alley (God, you are so funny).  We discovered a dirty pair of someone else’s socks under our bed the next morning.  We got ready to go to dinner and had to pass the pool to get to the restaurant.  The pool smelled so bad and was filthy since it was May and the pool wasn’t ready for use.  So now we are on to Tuesday morning and we took a leisurely drive to Boston.  My Aunt Connie and Uncle Bill had invited us to stay with them.  We had taken our entire Grooms cake with us in the Triumph TR6 to Boston so we could share it with them since they couldn’t join us at the wedding.  They had a beautiful home not far off the interstate in Dedham.  It had a wonderful enclosed side porch.  Aunt Connie gave us a choice of staying on the porch or staying in their room.  Mike said the porch would be wonderful.  I about froze to death.  We decided perhaps switching rooms the next night was the best idea.  Remember, it was our honeymoon. We spent our day in Boston doing some sightseeing and visiting my cousin Sharon and her children Janet, Paul and Kurt.  It was a great day.  We had a wonderful dinner with my Aunt and Uncle that evening.  Now it was time to go to bed again.  We retreated to my Aunt and Uncle’s room and found they had an old iron bed.  The kind that makes a noise if you make a move.  I am sure you get the picture.  Again, God you are sooo funny.  We left the next morning for New York City, another place I had only dreamed of seeing.  As we approached New York we found out one interesting fact that made it impossible to visit the city.  New York City was 3 weeks into a garbage strike and you could smell the city from a long way off.  This caused us to move on toward Pennsylvania.  We had planned to visit my Great-Aunt Madge at the nursing home where she lived in Quarryville, Pennsylvania.  This was close to Lancaster PA, Amish country so we headed to Lancaster.  I must say the three days in Lancaster were the best of the honeymoon.  Does that sound like it was pure joy?  Nope, we had one laugh after another.

We decided to drive out to see Madge so we could check out the countryside.  We saw a fabulous Amish restaurant we wanted to take my Aunt to for dinner.  Here is the problem with that plan – we had a two seater Triumph TR6 and we would need to transport three people to dinner.  She was in a nursing home and she didn’t have a car.  Mike dropped me off at the restaurant and then drove to pick up Madge and then joined me for dinner.  Of course that meant that after dinner it was the same thing in reverse.  It still was a wonderful night.  The next day we went to see the Amish sights and had a wonderful dinner together.  It was our first day together outside of a car since the wedding.  We got back to our hotel late that evening and were watching the 11:00 news from our bed.  They announced that there was a little girl in Philadelphia that needed a special type of blood.  Mike had the special type of blood so we got dressed and went to the local hospital, as instructed on the news, to give lifesaving blood to this little girl.  They told us we would need to drive into Philadelphia.  We stopped at a police station to get directions and started on our way to Philly.  We arrived at the hospital just after 2:00 a.m.  They stopped taking blood at midnight and apologized to us and thanked Mike but we now had to drive back to Lancaster.  It was well after 5 a.m. when we got back to our hotel. 

The next day we checked out of our hotel and drove out to say good-bye to Aunt Madge.  She was so excited to have someone visit her.  She left us for a minute to go get her bird book to show us information on the various birds she kept watch for.  When she came back she had the bird book and a box she wanted us to take back to Michigan.  The box contained something like 5000 postcards of the Sea of Galilee taken from one of her pictures during her visit to Israel decades before our visit to her in 1971.  When Mike said yes she disappeared again and came back with two more boxes.  One was a box filled with all of her slides and the other her slide projector.   She wanted them to go back to my Grandparents home.  Aunt Madge didn’t want anyone to use these items so she took the bulb out of the projector just to preserve it from use.  She then said she would be right back and returned with a movie screen.  Really?  A movie screen in a Triumph TR-6?  There was no way to make that happen.

I hope you enjoyed reading a little bit about one of the worst honeymoons of all time.  As you can tell, a bad honeymoon does not lead to a bad marriage – May 14 will be our 41^st anniversary. 

FAMILY REUNION - HANKS/GARVEY

I came from a really large family.  My mother had 3 sisters and 7 brothers.  When the boys began having children of their own, they produced large families.  My Grandfather, John Hanks, married my Grandmother, Flossie Garvey.  That meant I had plenty of Aunts and Uncles but even more cousins.  At one point I think there were 52 of us first cousins.  Through the years I have lost track of some of my cousins, which is disheartening.  I use to love to watch my Mom put her hands up and use her fingers to tell the birth order of her brothers and sisters.  It was something she could do until her last days on earth. 

Every year there is a fantastic family reunion that is called the Hanks/Garvey Reunion.  While my Mom’s family was large, there was an added bonus to our family.  My Grandfather’s sister, Margaret, married my Grandmother’s brother, Earl.  They also had several children who grew up and had several children.  I wish I could remember the count of that part of the family.  Their children were what we all called “Double Cousins”.  That was how the reunion began.  The reunion began in 1928.  When I was a child I looked forward to reunion day every year. Who could forget the endless tables of food, the games of horseshoes played by the Uncles, the trips into the lake, the excitement of the day?  My sister, Lisa, was only two and a half weeks old when she attended her first reunion.  One of my Mom’s brothers, Bill (John), lived in Boston and he would even bring his two girls, Sharon and Jill.  Aunt Madge, another sister of my Grandfather, was a retired missionary living in Pennsylvania and she NEVER missed a reunion.

Since I moved to Florida, I have only been to the reunion 7 or 8 times in 30 years.  About 10 years ago I went to the reunion with my mother.  It was held at a park on Mona Lake in Muskegon, Michigan – the same lake the reunion was held at in 1928.  While there use to be hundreds (at least it felt that way when I was a child) at the reunion, there were only about 40-45 people.  In 2009 my entire family returned to Muskegon for the reunion.  My Mom passed away in December 2008 and her brother Bill (John) passed away on Easter 2009. Bill’s daughter Sharon passed away the week of the reunion in 2008 so none of us went in 2008. My husband, our daughters and our grandchildren along with Jane, Ron and Lisa went that year.  My niece, D’Ann, joined us along with my sister Ranae.   I took CDs of the entire lot of family photo’s my Mom had saved throughout her 91 years.   I scanned them and made them available to all of the family.  There were about 30-35 people in addition to our part of the family that came that year.  Last year I returned to the reunion in Muskegon.  My cousin, Robin, plus her husband, son and daughter-in-law were there from Florida. I flew in on Friday and out on Monday.  It was worth it but very few people attend anymore.  At the reunion last year I found out one of my cousins lives about an hour south of my Tampa home.  We visited on the phone after I returned to Tampa and we met for the first time since we were teenagers.  The reunion is really worth our time.  My cousin, Penny, has given so many of us information about our roots.  Penny has traced our family on the Hanks side all of the way back and beyond Abraham Lincoln.  Yes, we are related to Abraham Lincoln through his Mother. 

Uncles Harold and Laurence - July 2011

My cousin, Jo Ellen, works so hard to make a great day for everyone.  She sends out invitations to families month’s ahead so everyone can put it on their calendar for the last Sunday in July.  Still, the numbers dwindle.  Out of 11 children my Grandparents had, there are only 2 living.  It is so sad.  There is only one aunt still alive, my Aunt Joan.  She was married to Mom’s youngest brother, Milburn.  That is on the Hanks side.  I didn’t see anyone from the Garvey side.  I know there are still family members on that side but they must not have been able to attend.

My family won’t be able to attend the reunion this year because we are increasing our family.  We have a granddaughter due at the same time of the reunion.  I will miss it this year.  My husband, Mike and our grandson, Holden, have been the last 3 or 4 years in a row.  We all would love to be there.  When we went to the reunion in 2009 we rented a house in Muskegon for a week.  Our family has said it is the best vacation ever.  They loved seeing Lake Michigan.  They enjoyed seeing all of the homes their parents had lived in while growing up and the schools we attended.  We were only 4 houses away from the school Holly and Missy went to before they moved to Florida.  Even they had memories of Muskegon. 

If you are part of my family as a cousin or a double cousin, please consider taking the last Sunday of July and returning to your roots.  There are several others who would like to get reacquainted and you will be welcomed with open arms.  Remember to bring a dish to pass and your own table service.  Every year there is an auction of white elephant items.  I think that is Holden’s favorite part of the reunion.  He loves to bid on items.

Look for us to be back in 2013 for the family reunion.  If you need more information, please post a comment below and I will answer you. 

Teach your children well......

My first job.
Yes, that is me in the Easter Bunny suit.

I have been amazed in the last couple of weeks at all of the things the GOVERNMENT has to say about raising our children.  First, Newt says we should allow our 13 year old children to be janitors in our schools and pay them for their work.  I can say Newt is not my favorite person but I totally agree that it never hurts to teach your child the value of work at an early age.  Before anyone writes me to say it is breaking child labor laws, let me say perhaps you should be looking at the “seasoned” people in your family and ask them about their first job and how it benefited them.  I began working on a special work permit when I was 14 as the Easter Bunny in a department store in my town.  I was the bunny for 2 years - 1964 and 1965.  Since my father died when I was 11 years old, I considered this job a means to purchase some items I would like to have, which helped our family budget.  My Mom had 4 daughters at home and Social Security benefits from my father’s passing was the same amount for 2 children as for 4 children.  Can you imagine the government feeling you could raise 4 for the price of 2?  We didn’t get Medicaid or Aid to Dependent Children.  We didn’t even receive Food Stamps.  She only got Social Security.  It’s the truth.  So having that information, I knew I could help myself and my Mother.  Having that special work permit also allowed me to work during the summer and holidays plus weekends.  Had I earned money before?  You bet.   At that time there wasn’t a kid who hadn’t been taken to the blueberry patch in the summer to pick blueberries for money.  Fast forward to 2012 and how many Americans would take their children to the blueberry patch to pick blueberries for money to buy their own school clothes? 

My husband was from a family of 8 kids and he not only pick blueberries for money but also deliver newspapers door to door – every day – 7 days a week – 365 days a year!  We both lived in Muskegon, Michigan – the snow capital of Michigan.  Then to make things worse, he had to go back to every home he delivered a paper to and collect money for their subscription.  Imagine that! 

Neither Mike nor I feel we were abused.  We feel fortunate that we had a way to earn our own money as young people. It gave us the feeling of accomplishment when we received our money.  It taught us how to tithe, how to manage our money.  We had to learn to decide if one item we wanted to purchase was more important than another. We learned we couldn’t spend more than we had in our pocket.  My Mom always said you can’t spend money more than one time!  Stop and think about that statement.  WE DIDN’T USE CREDIT CARDS!!  We saved for our first cars because – shock of shocks as I say this – parents did not give their children cars, we had to buy them ourselves.  Cars were not an automatic present when you turned 16.  We drove our parent’s cars, which made us very aware we needed to drive conscientiously because none of us wanted to have the dreaded talk to tell the parents we wrecked their car.  At that time families had only one car so if you had an accident, you took the FAMILY car out of commission.  It was not a constitutional right to own a car, or a cell phone either, for that matter.  My daughter, Holly, and I were talking as I was preparing to write this article.  She reminded me that she wanted KEDS sneakers.  The white ones, the actual KEDS with the blue tag on the back, not the knock offs for $5.00 a pair.  We told her that if she wanted KEDS she would need to earn the money and purchase them herself.  She bought several pair over the next few years.  She took such good care of them, kept them white as long as she could and then washed them and made them white again.  When you invest your own money in something, you take care of it better than if you are given something just because you want it.

Grandma and Greg

When I was going through my Mothers things after she passed away, I found a newspaper article in her Bible.  It was written about her grandson, Greg.  The article was written when Greg was about 16 years old.  He had started his small business at a much earlier age with one lawnmower.  He cut grass in the warm weather and shoveled snow in the winter.  He had grown his business by the time he was 16 to having employees, scheduling appointments and was paying taxes.  He is amazing today in everything he does,   He has drive – he has focus – he likes having a paycheck.  It was instilled in him as a young man.  His Grandmother was so proud of him.  When he was about 12 years old Grandma had a small accident with her car.  Greg was certain he could bump out the dent and repair the damage.  At 12 years old he had confidence because someone was willing to let him try.  He did a great job, by the way.  It wasn’t perfect but it was done well.  As parents and grandparents we need to start listening to God instead of a psychologist who thinks we should not have expectations of our children.  Expectation develops drive and focus.  Yes, I know you can go overboard but I believe that we can, with God’s help, bring out the best in our kids.

When you think about what I have written, you have to ask yourself, where did we go wrong?  Can we make a change back to a simpler time when we only spent what we made?  Sure we can.  Currently 40% of Americans live above what they earn. There are programs like Financial Peace University that teach you how to live within your means.  It isn’t easy if you are already upside down but it can be fixed honorably.  You can also begin to teach your child the value of money.  Mom was right.  You can only spend money – whether a penny, a dollar or a hundred dollar bill – one time!  Money doesn't grow on trees, either, much to my dismay.  In 1 Kings chapter 1 it talks about Adonija, son of King David, and says in verse 6 that his father never asked why he behaved the way he did.  He was an arrogant young man who thought he should be King.  Today our kids think everything should be handed them on a silver platter.  David didn’t teach him the value of anything.  When we understand what it takes to work for something, we appreciate it far more.  Give some consideration to teaching your child or grandchild, niece, or nephew the value of working at an early age.