WE ARE CALLED TO BE SELF FEEDING

A BOOK REVIEW OF THE DIVINE MENTOR

By Wayne Cordeiro

“Your words were found and I ate them;

and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;

for I have been called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts.”  Psalm 119:24

This verse in the book "The Divine Mentor"  was the most striking and hit my heart with major blows.  First of all I could see myself in the “I’m not being fed here” scenario.  When Mike and I were first married we went to my home church.  It was where I was baptized at the age of 9 and had remained a member and where we were married.  Mike gave up his home church because staying at my church meant so much to me.  After we had our first child I began attending a Bible study with women from another church.  It is the Bible study I would most like to recreate today, if I had the chance.  This Bible Study was where God first opened my eyes to His word.  I had read scripture before, of course, and knew all of the stories that had been taught to me through the years.  I knew them but they really didn’t know me! The first study I was in with this group was a “Neighborhood Bible Studies” series book called Four Men of God.  It took us through Adam, Abraham, Joseph and David.  There is no doubt that this time was the turning point in my life.  I ate up God’s word.  I could hardly wait until we met again because I was learning so much from our time together each week.  Most of the other women all attended the same church – Jesus Fellowship – that met in the Holiday Inn.  Before long I was being fed so much in that Bible Study that I was overflowing.  My desire was to teach others and I had the feeling I was no longer being fed in my church.  What are we to do when this happens?

As The Divine Mentor is showing us in it’s chapters, the church isn’t to be our prime feeding source.  We are told to not forsake gathering together as a body but I believe the church is to be the place where people hear the “milk” messages that lead them to a greater desire for the “meat” messages that are in God’s word.  We want others to do what only we can do.  Make us grow!

Psalm 32: 8-9 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.  Do not be as the horse or as the mule which has no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near you”

95% of what we do – anyone can do.  Only 5% of what we so is something no one else can be responsible for

·         Only I can be a husband/wife to my spouse

·         Only I can be a father/mother to my children

·         Only I can grow myself spiritually

·         Only I can keep myself healthy

·         Only I can keep myself disciplined

God sends the Holy Spirit who will guide us into all truth because truth needs a guide.

John 14: 16-17 says “I will ask the Father and He will give you another Helper, and He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth” then John 16:13 says ”But when I, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you in all the truth”

We gain all-important wisdom only as The Divine Mentor instructs us through a living interaction with and understanding of God’s word.  Our need for such a guide becomes increasingly vital as we get closer and closer to the end of history when spiritual deception will become most rampant.  Paul warned of false prophets.  He cautioned that many people living in those days will have a strong tendency to be “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (II Tim 3:7).  We should always be careful in how WE lead others as well.  Not being foolish in our speaking to others about scriptures or mislead by what we read in secular books or novels.  What you may read and have no problem seeing as fiction, may cause someone else to question or to be lead away from God’s true word.  This is why we need the Holy Spirit to be our guide.  He acts as our coach – just as an athlete needs a coach, we need a coach.  Athletes know that they cannot become and remain the best at what they do until they understand and apply the crucial essential of becoming coachable. 

Good Lessons and Bad Lessons

The Bible is filled with good and bad mentor /coaches.  We can learn from both of them.   Proverbs 24:30-32 says “I passed by the field of the sluggard and by the vineyard of the man lacking sense and behold, it was completely overgrown with thistles; it’s surface was covered with nettles, and it’s stone wall was broken down.  When I saw, I reflected upon it; I looked and received instruction.”

Our biblical mentors are caretakers who steward your inheritance until you come of age.  They teach, advise, tutor, mentor, coach until we receive the fullness of what God intends for us.  This is our divine inheritance.  What kind of inheritance do you seek and how soon do you want it?  The influences in our lives reflect how soon we want to receive our inheritance.   Proverbs 13:20 says “He who walks with wise men will be wise but the companion of fools will suffer harm” Our mentor, the word, says we become like the people we hang around with.  Wisdom is contagious.  It’s something you catch more than something you comprehend.  Physical death of our biblical mentors did not terminate their lives.  God gave them eternal assignment to tutor future generations of His children. 

A friend gave a cross necklace to his son and fiance at their rehersal dinner.  He explained that there were two words that lead them to the rehearsal dinner where he presented his gift.  His son had said the two words “Will you” and the fiance answered with two words “I Will”.  What he had inscribed on the back of the cross necklaces were two words “I Choose.”  In this case it was making the choice, daily, to be a husband and wife.  This father was a wise man.   

We make a choice daily on how our relationship with God will be that day.  Will we spend time with him and learn from the mentors he has provided in His word?  Daily we choose if we will become wiser.  Will we discipline ourselves to close out all else or will we go on with life as usual?  Each of us has to make our own choice.  What do YOU CHOOSE?

Is making the right choice today enough?  No, it is a daily choice we need to make.  Look at King Solomon.  He was considered one of the wisest men ever yet when he forgot where his wisdom came from and he began to think of himself as more than he really was, he became foolish.  How can we avoid this pitfall?  Stay DAILY in the word.  Talk to God.  Build the relationship He desires to have with you.  “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov 9:10, Psalm 111:10) and Proverbs 1:7 goes on to say “fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

There are many jobs, vocations, hobbies and talents that take daily practice.  Can you think of a few?  How about athletes, musician’s, physician’s?  Even a physician must have a mentor / coach to continue his learning process.  When I thought about this I was amazed.  I think of athletes and musicians as having coaches or lessons or practice that keeps them at peak performance but other jobs require this as well. Not just physician’s because I am a secretary but if I stopped typing or using the computer I would loose my skills.  I would slow down in my typing skills, wouldn’t I?  New programs would come out but I wouldn't want to learn how to use them.  I need my mentors on my job just like everyone else.  I need to be teachable.   I remember when we got our first computer and I thought it would be just the thing for my Mom to use to write letters to her brothers.  She had said writing letters was a slow process for her anymore and she didn’t enjoy it.  She had been an accountant so she used a typewriter daily.  I thought this would be a piece of cake yet her response to me was “I am 77 years old and I don’t have to learn anything I don’t want to anymore!”  This was in stark contrast to the woman who got her college degree at age 47 and her high school diploma at 67. 

Think of all you have just heard.  How many mentors from God’s word are you really familiar with on an intimate level?  Do you try to read the Bible daily?  Do you journal what you read?  Perhaps you are content to read without really getting intimate with God daily?  I submit that until you can find someone that you will be accountable to on a consistent basis you may not be the self feeder you could become.  Are you afraid to begin on your own?  Find a Bible Study of others that really want to learn.  Make a commitment to never miss a meeting – be accountable!

The new year of 2012 will begin in just a few hours.  What kind of New Year resolution can you make that would be more fruitful in your life than having daily time with God?  Spend time reading his word, journal things that you come across, pray for others and perhaps even keep a log of your prayers so you can see how God is working.  As I have said before, my experience builds my faith which becomes my testimony!

What is it like to be married to Santa Claus?

Almost 40 years ago Mike, my incredible husband, was asked to be Santa for a friends daughter.  He loved it. He loves children and our family knows there is a “three foot rule” when Dad is around.  If he sees someone under 3 feet tall, he must stop and talk to them.  Mike teaches Special Ed and his favorite class is the one with the severely handicapped children.  He LOOKS for ways to help them learn.  That is probably why he is a great Santa. 

At church

Jump ahead to just a few years ago when Mike's beard came in gray and he really began to look like Santa.  He begins growing his beard in late August, early September.  One year he was helping out after church in November and there was a little boy and his sister playing in front of the table where Mike was standing.  The little girl had spoken to Mike several times.  I brought a Santa Hat over and put it on his head and the little girl stopped, her mouth dropped open and she said “I want to be a Princess”  She no longer saw the guy that was talking to her about the book she was playing with, she saw Santa.  Another time he was just talking to one of the kids outside of church and a line formed to talk to “Santa”  He doesn’t wear a Santa Suit to church, nor does he wear a Santa hat.  In fact, Mike is usually known as the guy in the flag shirt because about 90% of the time he has on a flag shirt.  I must say, my heart melts a little each time I see a child stop and see Santa in Mike. 

Our oldest grandson, Holden, age 14, has always called Mike “Bumpa”.  Now that he is older he shortens it frequently to Bump.  We now have a 2 ½ year old grandson, Max.  His name for Mike is “Ho Ho.”  I have to tell you, shortening that is not a good idea!  Holden says, “Hey Bump.” Just think about what Max will say. He is so cute when he runs his fingers through Mike’s beard and says “Ho Ho” 

And a line forms

One of the groups Mike works with is called “YES”  It is a charity that works with special needs children that was begun by a woman who is blind herself.   The first year he was Santa for YES he was amazed at the items the “children” asked Santa to bring them.  One “child” is over 50 years old and wanted a friendship bracelet.  She had never had a friend give one to her and it was what she wanted most.  One “boy” came to see Mike three times and brought him a list with each visit.  He was higher functioning and he wrote out his list.  Still, the list contained things you would never see on your child or grandchild’s list.  He wanted new sheets, toothbrush, underwear – only necessities of life – nothing frivolous – not even a toy.  Items you and I would just buy as we need them, certainly not ask Santa for them.

Last year my sister invited Mike and I to a concert of Transiberian Orchestra.  They got their start in Tampa so their concert is doubly exciting.  We first went to dinner at Outback.  When you sit in their booth, the windows are just about shoulder level.  Mike was sitting next to the window.  Outside there were bushes under the window.  We had finished our meals but were enjoying coffee before we went to the Forum for the concert.  All of a sudden this boy climbed over the bushes,  pressed his face against the glass and yelled “SANTA!”

Bumpa/Ho Ho with
Max and Holden 2010

Recently we attended a party that included his high school students from last year.  There was another guy there playing Santa and Mike was in regular clothes.  Several of the students came over and said “Mr. Mike, there is a guy here playing you!”   These kids are 14-21 and in their minds, there is no question that Mr. Mike IS Santa.   His students all know that Santa does other things all year long and he won’t talk to them as Santa from January until October.  On October 1 the kids all begin writing letters to Santa and asking about the reindeer and elves. 

I have never dressed as Mrs. Claus.  I have a red cape my daughter bought for me, and I do have gray hair.  It wouldn’t take much.  Perhaps I should join him.  No – this is his time of the year, I am not going to spoil it for him. 

Gosh I love this time of year.  Don’t you?

Mom - the rest of the story

Berneice Juanita Hanks Ferguson was born on May 14, 1917 and went home to be with the one who created her on December 19, 2008.  Just in time to celebrate Jesus’ birthday with Jesus!  She was born to John Earl and Flossie Mae Hanks as their second child.  She was the first daughter out of 11 children, however, the girls were the “runts” of the litter, so to speak.  Her sisters died at age 2, 7 and the youngest of all the children, her beloved sister, Jane, died at 24. 

Because the girls were not the healthiest, the boys took very good care of their sister.  By the time Berneice entered high school she was the only living sister and the boys would walk in front of her to block the wind from getting to her when it was cold and windy. 

When she was 16 years old she became too ill to return to school so, with only having completed 2 weeks in the 10^th grade, she was forced to drop out of school.  Shortly after she dropped out of school she entered Simpson Memorial, a 10 bed hospital with a 5 bed men’s ward and a 5 bed women’s ward, which is now one of the oldest buildings on the University of Michigan campus in Ann Arbor.  Simpson Memorial was a “teaching hospital” so one day the doctor at Simpson called her doctor in Muskegon and said he didn’t feel she was going to live and they had a doctor who needed training in removing a spleen.  The doctor in Muskegon had just read about a newly identified disease called pernicious anemia and thought many of the symptoms were the same.  Problem was, it was usually found only in the elderly.  The doctor in Muskegon would not allow for the removal of the spleen and asked for them to begin feeding her cakes of “brewers yeast” many times a day.  In the end, it proved she was one of the youngest identified with the disease.  Berneice spent a year and a half in the hospital and had to learn to walk again, that is how sick she was.  Returning home still meant a monthly trip back and forth to Simpson Memorial for a liver shot that helped her to recover.  Her parents had to rely on the help of someone else for transportation to the hospital approximately 6 hours away. There weren’t highways or even good roads at that time and it was during the depression where there was gas rationing however, one man came to the help of her parents, he was the father of Jimmie Bakker, who later founded the PTL network.  Many times Berneice talked about animal testing for drugs and medical research.  She felt it was very necessary.  Simpson Memorial Institute is still on the campus of U of M.

Unable to return to school due to her age, she began work at the button factory where she met Max Ferguson.  For months he followed her around asked her every day to marry him.  Finally her Mother told her to marry him so she could get rid of him occasionally.  She finally married him on August 14.  They had 5 healthy daughters within the next 20+ years.  The last was born 8 months after the death of Max.  Her faith is what carried her through the tough times of being a widow.  Her girls were ages 19, 11, 9, 1 and she was pregnant plus 44 years old herself when she lost her husband.  She said she knew social security wouldn’t be enough to raise her girls so she came up with a plan. She took all of the insurance money she received, which wasn’t much, and went to the Muskegon Business College to ask what she could do to go to college.  She took the GED test and used all the insurance she had received to pay for the first term of college and purchase her books.  Berneice said she had faith that God would provide the education she needed. Provide HE did!  The same disease that sidelined her from school at 16 years old was the catalyst that gave her the much needed education.  This incurable blood disease allowed her to go to school and paid for her books.  She completed her education in her late 40’s and received a “junior accounting” degree – with honors.  She then became a payroll accountant at Brenneman Curtain Roll Company where they made roller shades.  She worked there and raised her daughters.  She was tireless!  She went to tons of events – PTA meetings, parent teacher conferences, hauled the girls to after school activities, cooked, cleaned, washed hundreds of loads of laundry and made many of the clothes the girls wore.  All the while she maintained a home that put God first.  In the spring of 1968 she fulfilled a dream and she built a new home on the property that she and Max had purchased so many years before.  It was right next to her parents’ home. So the four daughters still at home moved the long distance of one block to live next to their grandparents’ home.  When you hear the scripture “Honor your Father and Mother that your days may be long upon the earth” think of Berneice.  She spent years caring for them and them for her.  God granted her 91 years on earth and her daughter would tell you it was because of God’s promise. 



May 1983



The story of school is not over for Berneice.  After she retired from her company, she felt she lacked one important thing, a real high school diploma.  So Berneice went back to night school and received her high school diploma on May 11, 1983, after having a college degree for 20 years.

Christmas 1960

Holidays were a treasure as the girls grew up.  It never began very early because they had to wait for Grandma and Grandpa to arrive.  They would open gifts one at a time.  They would have breakfast and then Grandma and Grandpa went home to begin preparing the family feast for later in the day.  In just a few hours all of Berneice’s brothers and their families would descend upon the house.  The 7 brothers and Berneice produced 54 grandchildren and Christmas and Easter were the days everyone went to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house.  It was a memorable occasion of card games and Pick up Sticks.  In the summer there was the Hanks/Garvey family reunion on the last Sunday in July.    
This is a huge reunion that still goes on every year.

There was a fun side to Berneice.  In 1967 she volunteered to take the Future Homemakers of America Club to Washington, DC.  She and the girls stayed in a mansion in McLean Virginia owned by the brother of Julie’s home economics teacher.  They lived about 2 miles from Robert Kennedy’s home.  One day they all went to the Kennedy home to gawk.  You used to see pictures of Jackie Kennedy riding horses and jumping fences.  This was the home where the pictures were taken.  Berneice suggested that they should walk up to the door. The worst that could happen is someone telling them to stop.  She was right.  They only got about 10 feet past the gate before there were people flooding out of the house to say they were trespassing.  Berneice really just wanted to get a close up look at the door. The Kennedy’s had a large white house with black shutters and a very red front door.  A year later when she built her little ranch style house, it was a white house with black shutters and as long as she lived there, it had a very red front door.  The next year Bobby Kennedy was assassinated.

Another favorite story happened the day after the graduation open house for her youngest daughter Lisa’s graduation from high school.  Berneice suggested inviting some friends to have a picnic with the leftovers from the party.  So on Sunday they all went to the park.  There were 4 children under the age of 5 and they loved playing on the playground.  The kids really wanted to use the monkey bars.  After watching them try, she decided she would teach them.  She climbed up, hung there, swung to the first rung, then the second rung and then oops, the third rung slipped out of her hands and down she went and hurt her ankle.  When the doctor in the emergency room came in to see her he said “ Berneice, what happened?”  Her answer was “none of your business”.  He said “I need to know how this happened so I can help fix it.”  She wasn’t about to budge.  She said “ I don’t have to tell you anything – just fix it”  Berneice got her “feisty” side from her Mother although it was her father who was still able to walk on stilts at age 70. 

Berneice encouraged her girls to be whatever they wanted.  She was a great person who loved math and encouraged her girls to be good at math.  On trips she would take notebook paper, turn it sideways so the lines were vertical and then fill the space between the lines with numbers and have the girls add the numbers out loud in the car.  The girls never counted license plates or cows or horses on trips – they added!  Out loud, they added.  They were encouraged to play musical instruments, if they would like.  Julie was asked when she was in kindergarten if she would like to learn to play the piano or the accordion.  The music teacher lived about 5 houses down the street.  She chose the accordion because she didn’t know how she could carry the piano down the street.  Eventually she took up the clarinet because it was lighter than either of the other two.

A few years ago Berneice began showing signs of dementia.  When your parent begins to forget things you can get frustrated and make them frustrated, or you can view it as entertainment.  To Mike and Julie it was entertainment.  When Berneice began to realize she was having a problem she expressed her concern.  Julie explained it this way to her – when you are up in years you have a lot of “stuff” crammed in your brain – eventually some of it is bound to leak out of your ears.  Since the old stuff is on the bottom, the new stuff leaks out.  It was a good analogy for her and one she could understand.  But entertaining it was – One day she came out to the kitchen and announced that Matlock had retired.  Julie asked why she felt a TV character had retired.  She said he wasn’t on her TV at the times he used to be.  Julie said he is on at 5 a.m. when she woke up early.  She replied, to her delight “That’s it, he is working third shift” Berneice loved Andy Griffith and enjoyed both of his shows- Matlock and The Andy Griffith Show.  The family got her lots of DVDs of The Andy Griffith show.  Holly would go in and start a 3 episode DVD for her Grandma.  She would set it to repeat.  That meant that there were 6 times you would hear the whistling theme song each time the DVD repeated.  Have you ever wondered how many times you can hear the whistling theme song before you want to pull your hair out?  Ask Mike, Julie or Holly and they can tell you.  

Berneice, Joan and Lawrence
on her last trip to Michigan

Each year she would travel home to her beloved Michigan to see her brothers and to have Red Haven peaches.  While she was gone, Mike had to take up the slack of some of the things Berneice did nightly.  She was a fan of Diagnosis Murder and each night she would come into the family room at 9:00 and announce that Diagnosis Murder is on channel 17.  So for the time she would be back in Michigan, Mike would announce every night at 9:00 and that Diagnosis Murder was on channel 17.  He was always such a help.

There were many things Berneice loved and many of them were fruits from Michigan.  Strawberries, Peaches, Raspberries, Pears and Apples.  She raised her children with home canned fruits.  They all learned to can food, even if they didn’t want to.  They loved to eat the home canned fruit, though.  Every time she purchased apples in Florida there were prerequisites that had to be followed in bringing them home from the store.  First of all, nobody touched her apples but her and they must state they were Michigan apples.  Every cashier received a proper education in handling apples!  She never allowed the cashier to put them on the scale, she did it herself and then gently put them back in the cart.  If an apple rolled off the counter at home, it must be eaten immediately before it bruised.

Berneice enjoyed babysitting after she moved to Florida.  She helped rear the children of two families the Pickles and the Freemans.  Five children that didn’t have a grandma in Florida.  The children called her Grandma Neice, a name her Grandson, Holden, still calls her.  Holden and Grandma Neice would sit together in her chair or out in the family room and read books and newspapers together.

One of Julie’s friends said that her Mom use to say it was best to find a parking space where you could just pull through so you were headed out front-wise when you were ready to leave the space.  It saved gas to not have to back out then pull forward.  Well Berneice used all the gas that was saved by her friends Mother.  Berneice couldn’t park more than 4 spaces from the door so she would circle and circle around the parking lot until she found a space close to the door.



One of only 2 pictures
of all 5 girls - 1983



One thing for sure, she loved her girls.  Each one was unique and different from the others. 

Sandy was adventurous and moved away from Michigan before she was 20.  Berneice got to visit Alaska because her daughter lived there. Sandy had 1 daughter, Cherie Lisa and one son, Lee (Leepie), who died when he was 2 ½ years old.  Cherie Lisa had 4 children and is now a grandmother herself making Berneice a great-great-grandmother.

Julie was glue.  She always held her Mother and the girls together.  Berneice lived with Mike and Julie for many years in Florida.  They also lived next door to her in Michigan.  While Berneice didn’t give birth to Mike, you could have no doubt that she was his Mom.  He took such loving care of her right from the minute he married Berneice’s daughter.  Julie and Mike have 2 daughters, Holly and Melissa.  Missy has two sons, Holden, and Max who was born 3 months after she passed away and         named after Missy's grandfather.

Ranae was the quieter one.  Ranae and her husband Gary still live in Michigan where she has one son, Greg, and one daughter, D’Ann.  Ranae is grandmother to one grandson, Steven.

Jane is the feisty one.  She is very competent and a type A personality.  She is very outgoing and tells it like it is.  She and Ron have one daughter, Alex.  (Since this was originally written, Jane’s beloved husband, Ron, passed away)  Jane was ill the year she had Alex and her Mom was there for weeks helping out and staying with their family. Loving every minute of it.

Mary Lisa is the youngest of the family and works very hard.  She loves flowers and frogs.  Lisa has one son, Andy, and is grandmother to one grandson, Alexander.  When Andy was born, Mom helped out any and every chance she could.  Berneice loved to give her grandbabies their first bath and Andy was the youngest of her grandchildren.  The last grandchild to be given the Grandma bath. 

There are many things she tried to instill in her daughters and the big one was a love of the Lord.  Her parents were charter members of Wayside Chapel, the same church where she raised her girls.  Wayside Chapel became Wayside Baptist and then was renamed Mona Shores Baptist, the church she still attended whenever she made her trips to Muskegon. While she loved the church she raised her children in, she also loved the contemporary church she attended here in Tampa.  Her favorite music was the old hymns but she loved to clap along and smiled at the music at Grace, which is much different from the old hymns.  The music she is enjoying now must be the best! There is probably a group of angels singing a cross between “The Old Rugged Cross”, “Stomp” and “Praise Party”.  By far, the most important part of her life was church, the music didn’t matter, the message was what mattered.  She loved to go to church and had a rule with her girls; if you are too sick to go to church, you are too sick to go anywhere else.  She believed in the scriptures and the comfort and direction they provide. She loved spending time on her knees and prayed for strength to take her through the teen years of five daughters.  Obviously she survived the years with God’s help. 

A few days before she passed away there was a question as why God didn’t take Berneice home sooner.  Mike said they must be putting up a little more crown molding on her mansion. He was right. 

Berneice loved the scripture from Psalm 23 and the words in The Message version capture her trust in God.

Psalm 23 (The Message)

 1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
   You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
      you find me quiet pools to drink from.
   True to your word,
      you let me catch my breath
      and send me in the right direction.

 4 Even when the way goes through
      Death Valley,
   I'm not afraid
      when you walk at my side.
   Your trusty shepherd's crook
      makes me feel secure.

 5 You serve me a six-course dinner
      right in front of my enemies.
   You revive my drooping head;
      my cup brims with blessing.

 6 Your beauty and love chase after me
      every day of my life.
   I'm back home in the house of God
      for the rest of my life.

Well, the mansion was made ready and Berneice is now enjoying walking on streets of gold without her walker or wheelchair.  She knows the names of her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren.  She is now with her Husband, Mom, Dad, sisters, brothers and friends she has known throughout her life and had gone home before her. She remembers them and they are having a huge reunion.  She always loved the Hanks/Garvey reunion. The feast includes her Aunt Margaret’s baked beans and all the Michigan Red Haven Peaches, Strawberries, Raspberries, Pears, concord grapes, watermelon and musk melon she can eat.  After all, God serves only the best at His table.

Mom was a Funny Lady!

Mom and Holden enjoying
the newspaper together

One of the funny stories about my Mom, one that shows her sense of humor took place the weekend Donald Trump separated from Ivana – before he married Marla Maples. 

When I got home from church that Sunday Mom took me aside and said we needed to go to the grocery store.  She wanted it to be just the two of us.  When we got there she went right to the check out lanes and started looking through the tabloids.  The Tampa Tribune had an article in it that day that said all of the tabloids had the Donald Trump separation on the front page except one.  They told what was on the front of that paper and that was all Mom needed.  She had to purchase that tabloid for Mike.  What was the story in that tabloid?  It was how to perform your own hair transplant using the hair in your arm pit, complete with pictures.  Mom was so excited to bring that tabloid home to Mike and gave it to him with a straight face.  Straight face for about 15 seconds and then they both cracked up with laughter!  My Mother had a great sense of humor.

Sweet Memories of Mom

Mom and Mike Dec. 2007

One of the sweetest stories about my Mom happened just a few months before she went into the hospital and then a nursing home.  Mom liked to get in and out of only side of the bed.  Of course the side changed from time to time but when she decided on a side she wanted to get in on, it didn’t change for weeks or months.  The choices were the window side of her bed or the television side of her bed. 

On this particular night Mike had gone down to check on Mom, as he did every night, when he got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  He found Mom sitting on the window side of her bed in the dark.  He talked to her about how it was night and she should sleep.  He asked if could help her get back into bed.  She said “please” so he helped her stand up to walk around the bed to the television side of the bed.  When she got there she didn’t seem to want to get in bed and instead laid her head on Mike’s shoulder.  Mike said “Can I help you back into bed?”  The reply was in a few minutes.   Mike waited what he said was 10 minutes so I am certain it was at least 5 minutes.  He asked again “May I help you get back into your bed?”  Now she decided the answer was “Yes” so Mike helped her back in bed.

In the morning Mike told me about his interesting encounter with my Mom during the night.  The morning drive to the day care center took about 15-20 minutes.  As I was driving my Mom to her day care in the morning she said to me, “I have a man who is interested in me.”  I asked her “does he work at the center (day care)?”  “No,” she replied.  We went a little further down the road and Mom said to me “I have a man who wants to marry me!”  She was so excited in her speech.  Again I asked “does he work at the center?”  “No,” was the reply.  When we pulled into the center’s parking lot she again stated “I have a man who wants me to marry him!”  I asked “does he work at the center?” Her reply was “No, he lives at the house I live in.  You know him, you live here too!”  Well I took my Mom in and settled her down for the day and got in my car to go to work.  I immediately called Mike and demanded to know how long he had been cheating on me?  Silence at the other end of the phone.  Then I started laughing and told him the story.  90 years old and falling in love with her son-in-law!

Memories of Mom

This coming Monday marks the three year anniversary of the day we said our last good-bye on earth to my Mom.  I look for things to strike memories of her.  She was so awesome and I was really blessed to have her as my mentor in life.  I will be sharing stories of my Mom over the next few days.  Some longer than others but today’s story will hopefully bring a smile to your face.  For those of you who knew me in my early 20’s you will recognize just how much I look like my Mother.  Just one more blessing! 

My Mom wasn’t one to ever, I mean never, never, ever buy a bathing suit.  After we moved to Florida we tried to get her to go into the water when we went to the gulf.  We also tried to get her to get into pools at our friends homes.  The story was always the same, her grandmother never liked women in bathing suits so they had “beach pajama’s” to wear to Lake Michigan when she was a young girl.  She said they covered a woman from neck to ankle.  Imagine my surprise when I found pictures of my Mother in a swim suit, a two piece swim suit, on the beach as a woman about 20 years old.  These pictures are treasures.

Just in case you are wondering, Mom is the one on the right in the first picture and the one on the far left in the bottom picture.  I would hardly call this two piece swimming suit "beach pajama's". 

You Could be a Blessing

When our girls were little, 4 and 6 years old, we were shopping in a mega store at Christmas.  The lines were long and my Mom had joined us for the shopping.  We had finally filled the cart and headed to the front of the store.  We found a great line to check out and Mom and I began to talk about the holiday.  There was an elderly gentleman with his cart in front of us and he was trying to get the attention of my little girls. We had taught them not to talk to strangers and they were practicing what we had taught them.  The line wasn’t moving very quickly and the man kept trying to talk to the girls. Finally the man took two nickels out of his pocket and gave each of the girls a nickel.  The girls said thank you and moved behind Mom and Grandma.  Mom and I started talking to him a little and he mentioned he had had some heart problems and who his doctor was in town.  My mother noticed that the man had chosen a long line yet had only two TV dinners in his cart.  He could easily have gone through the express lines at the store.  Mom pointed out his cart as he was checking out and paying for his two TV dinners.  She told me he really just needed some human contact and she wished there was something she could do.

My Mom had decided to go visit my sister in Atlanta for the Holidays and my husbands folks were headed out of town as well so that left Mike, our girls and I for Christmas Day.  We were looking for something to do that would be different that year since we wouldn’t be visiting family on Christmas.  We decided to head to the Grand Plaza Hotel in Grand Rapids for Christmas and made reservations to have dinner in one of the most unbelievable places in our area.  We were lavishing ourselves for the holiday and were excited yet something just didn’t feel right.  I kept remembering the man in the line at the store who just needed human contact.

I called the doctor’s office that he said he went to and spoke to the front desk.  I said I had an unusual request but hoped they could help me.  I told them about our encounter with the man in the line at the store.  I told them about his two TV dinners and how he blessed my girls with the coins.  I asked if there was any way to identify him.  The first person said she didn’t know but she would ask the nurse to call me.  A while later the nurse called and I told her my experience in the store.  While speaking to her I remembered one fact about the man and told her about this unusual (to me) feature of the man.  She knew immediately who he was.  She said he didn’t have family.  I told her we wanted to bless him with some gifts for the holiday.  She was wonderful and gave me not only his name but his address as well.

We took the girls, bought some gifts and a fruit basket and took our girls to the man’s home.  He was excited to have someone stop by on Christmas because he had no family.  We were invited into his home.  I was shocked to see how little he had.  Remember, we lived in Michigan and Christmas means snow.  This gentleman was living in his living room and dining room.  He had his bed in the dining room.  The living room held a small upholstered rocker, a TV tray and a TV on a small side table.  There were 2 folding chairs up against the wall, which we used to sit and talk to him.  The doors to the bedroom and also the kitchen were kept closed because he didn’t want to pay to heat them.  He was really a man in need and we had come to bless him.  That was the beginning of our tradition of blessing someone special that our girls chose every year. 

One of years the girls chose to bless “Manny,” the maintenance guy at the elementary school they were attending in Tampa.  We wrote a letter to him telling everything our girls told us that made him the “blessed person” that year and gave him a gift.  The biggest reason he was who they picked was because a teacher would ask him to do or fix something and his answer was always “I will get right on that” and then he did.  They said he always had a smile on his face.  About 10 years later Mike was substitute teaching at the school and he remembered Mike when he saw him.  He took him to his office and showed him how the letter had been framed and placed on his wall.  He wanted to always remember that his daily actions influence people.

During this Christmas season can you find someone and bless them just because they do nice things or smile or whatever it is that will make you pick that person?  Look around, it could it be a person in a store, a neighbor or a person that you work with that is always positive.  Tell them why you are giving them a gift.  I guarantee the note you write will be more important to them than the gift.  I took a gift down to someone who worked at the “HELP” desk at Moffitt one year.  I wrote a note telling her how helpful she had always been when I had to phone the “HELP” desk for IT help.  I already have my person picked out for this year.  Give some thought to whom you might choose.  I would love to hear about it so drop me a note, please.

God has a Sense of Humor



Holly and Melissa, Sept 1977



Earlier I told you about my experiences/testimonies of how I received my first job at 14, how my Mother’s faith impacted my faith and how God wants YOU to come to Him with your burdens.  Did you know God also has a sense of humor?

Delivering my first daughter, Holly Jennifer, was a little different.  I had “Phantom twin” syndrome, at least that is what the doctor told me after my daughter was delivered.  He explained that I had two sacks of water and only one baby.  The empty sack burst on January 21, 1975.  The due date of my first baby.  Very exciting.  I called the doctor to let him know the water had broken.  The nurse called me back and said my doctor was in the hospital as a patient who was having a pacemaker inserted.  He was in Ohio, I was in Michigan and he wasn’t expected home anytime soon.  Funny that never had come up in the last month of maternity appointments.  Anyway, the nurse told me to go to the hospital when my labor pains 5 minutes apart.  If I didn’t begin labor, I was to call her back at 9 a.m.  Needless to say, at 9 a.m. I called her back.  She referred me to another physician who was performing abortions in our city.  I was NOT a happy Mother-to-be but I knew I had no choice in this matter.  By noon that day they had begun a PIT drip and shortly after that I was in labor with pains every 2 minutes apart.  I stayed that way for 22 hours.  After 19 hours I asked the doctor how much longer it would be and he snapped and said “I had kept him in the hospital all night because I hadn’t progressed and had this baby.”  He really made me feel like this little life coming into the world was unimportant.   Then when I got into the delivery room they wouldn’t let my husband come into the room.  The doctor said fathers were a bother.  On the other hand, the entire nursing class he brought into the room was okay with him. 

Anyway, when I was pregnant for my second baby my husband I had prayed about who to use as a doctor and felt we needed to have a Christian doctor.  We choose a great doctor and he agreed that he would do everything possible to not induce labor for this child and allow me to have a natural childbirth.  My due date was July 17, 1977.  The date came and went without delivering a baby.  Two weeks after my due date we had friends who were coming to stay with us and see the baby and our little one still had not made an appearance.  Another week passed and we would see our doctor out for dinner and he would tell us to call anytime I was in labor.  Still no baby.  Okay – three weeks and 3 days overdue I called and begged to be induced.  To be induced, I needed an ultrasound.  I had that and called the doctor to see when we could get started.  I was told the doctor was out of town but would be back on Monday.  Great!  That Saturday I began seeing a little blood but no labor.  During the night of August 14 (3 weeks and 6 days after my due date) I went into labor.  Remember Mike and I prayed about our doctor.  Well the doctor we prayed would be there was Dr Harris.  The doctor that actually delivered our daughter was  Dr. Heeres.  They are pronounced exactly the same.  Again, God answered our prayer.  Not in the way we expected but he knew “before the foundation of the earth” that Melissa Sunshine Jaunese was going to be born on August 14,  (the date of her Great-Grandmother's birthday and her Grandparent's anniversary) and he provided the doctor we prayed would deliver her.  Harris or Heeres, he knew them both and they both knew HIM.  Both doctors were Christians.  One more thing – Melissa was born 56 minutes after we arrived at the hospital and was delivered through natural childbirth.

Christmas - Many Years Ago

Have you ever wondered how much is enough?  This is the Christmas season when we all want to give our loved ones everything they want and I am just as bad as everyone else.    I remember looking at my daughters' list of things they wanted for Christmas.  We always wanted to get them everything on the list.  How many gifts do we need under the tree?  I liked the way my parents did it – one thing we asked for and then socks, underbottoms and other clothing we needed.  It was still a surprise when we opened our gifts, pretty much.

I remember being a child and having my list for Christmas.  I wish I remembered how my list was made but I do remember it was always the same – one item.  My Mom said she was always surprised I only wanted one thing.  Do you remember your list?  I only remember one item I never received Christmas morning.  I wanted a playhouse for my backyard that was big enough that I could play in it all by myself.  I always looked outside on Christmas morning and it was never there.  The first year I asked for it and didn’t get it, I decided it was a lost cause.  It certainly wasn’t what I wanted the next year.  I remember asking for a Marionette Puppet one year.  I got it!  It was a clown dressed in red and white with red strings extending to its T-bar at the top where you could make it walk and play.  I spent hours playing with it but more hours untangling its strings. When I was in the 5^th grade I couldn’t wait for Christmas morning.  I had asked for what I considered was my first grown up gift – a chemistry set.  I had even cut out the picture of the exact one I wanted.  I got up early that morning, went to the tree, examined all of the gifts and when I found the one that felt right on the outside (three sections where it opened) I was able to go back to sleep and know what I wanted was under the tree.  This wasn’t new for me.

I was a package “investigator”  in my younger days.  If it had my name on it I would try to figure out what was in it.  Then I found that you could slit a piece of tape, open a package, and tape it back with the exact same size piece of tape to make the giver none the wiser.  I was REALLY bad.  Mike learned about my “habit” when I wanted a fondue pot and just days before Christmas, I said I wanted to use a fondue pot to take something to a party we were attending.  I said I knew there was one under the tree and I would like to use it early.  I offered to re-wrap it and put it back after the party.  I don’t think he liked that much and gifts have never been put under the tree early since that time.  Okay, maybe one year – the year he got me a beautiful opal ring he wrapped it like an ornament on the tree and put it on the inside of the tree on a branch.  I passed it for weeks and never saw it.  Now we all hide our gifts until Christmas morning.

Of course, I had Holly.  She is very much like her Mother in more ways than she knows.  One year she wanted a Timex Triathlon watch.  I bought it, wrapped it, and put it with the other gifts under my Mom’s bed.  Mom had a trundle day bed but didn’t have the extra mattress so it was a perfect place to hide gifts.  On Christmas Eve Mike and I went in to get our wrapped gifts and found that the tape on any gift that had Holly’s name on it was opened.  Mike and I put our heads together, removed the watch from the box, wrapped the box identically (my tape skills paid off) and we placed the box under the tree.  We decided it would be the very last box given to her that morning.  Holly opened the box and the look on her face was priceless.  She asked about the empty box.  I told her I thought it was a great, sturdy box she could use for several things and thought she would like it.  She said it is a Triathlon watch box.  I then asked if the watch was there when she opened it the first time!  BUSTED!!  From then on we had to find “inventive” ways to keep gifts away from her at Christmas.

No matter what you want for Christmas, remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.  Celebrate the fact that Jesus came and died for YOU.  Why? To have a relationship with YOU.  Do you think your Mom and Dad loved you?  Well God LOVES you more than your parents, siblings or friends.  How do I know?  Psalm 139 talks about God knowing us every minute, whatever we are doing, wherever we are.  It has 24 verses that can change your understanding of God.  Why?  It is because God formed you and me and desires our fellowship.  “I choose” to daily have a personal relationship with Him.  Do you?